There are two hopefully-more-in-depth-and-intellectual posts coming soon; actually, they've both been in the works for at least two months, and for some reason I keep expanding on them and editing and delaying and I'm really not sure why; remember when I used to post daily, uncensored?

But right now there's just something I have to say, because I'm afraid I'll forget what I'm feeling right now. (This sounds stupid already.)

I'm going to keep it vague: I'm confused and I'm really not sure what's happening, and for what seems like the first time I literally do not have anyone I'd feel comfortable talking with about this particular matter. Sure, it's not like I've ever been the most social (although that's changed for the better lately; I love my friends), but there's always been at least one person who could..help, if only by listening. And if it was any other situation, I wouldn't hesitate. But this.. This is just strange. And not even necessarily in a bad way. But it feels too much like a familiar pattern - far too familiar. I don't know how to deal with myself.

In a week I will likely be less attached to this and I will be able to push it away. Right now.. It's just throwing me off a little.

Olivia