So HERE WE GO. Last
- The semester ended. The last couple of weeks were hell for me, because in addition to final projects I had this really terrible cough that was sparked by a cold and also probably the weather, and I ended up sleeping all the time. Last time I had a cough like that which lasted longer than a week was in seventh grade; I had that one almost the entire school year, and people liked to say I had SARS. People kept telling me to go see a doctor, to which I had to keep replying No I can't I have to finish my finals there is no time for health. Then Illustrator crashed on me as I was heading into the final hours of working on my VFX final, which was supposed to have a lot of graphics, and I ended up having to cobble some shit together in After Effects and apologize profusely to Eric, my teacher, and hide in shame in the corner of the classroom as we watched the projects, all the while coughing my brains out. He was good about it, probably because I was dying, and at least I passed the class. I basically ended up hating my animation class that first semester, because I'm mediocre at modeling and suck at pretty much everything else we did - there was no focus on animation at all - and my final project was full of sadness. So when I got home for winter break, I refused to talk about school for a few days, and just sat around with my cat.
- But I ended up passing all my classes, anyways, and I got A's in Creative Writing, Arthurian Literature, and History of Animation I. (All the classes that didn't matter..) And this semester will probably be better, at least if I think about it in patterns; I almost always do better in the second semester than the first, and last year was no exception. And hey, the first animation class of the semester, he gave us actual animation homework! And he told me specifically that mine was good, so I guess there's some hope for spring. (God, I love animating.)
- I'm applying for internships for summer again; I'm looking into more than I did last year. First due date is the application for Blizzard. It..would be really cool if I could intern at Blizzard. Or really anywhere.
- For the first time in my life since I was maybe eight, I have friends who I see regularly outside of school. I celebrated my birthday with people other than my family for the first time since I was twelve - my first and last teenage birthday. This may not be a big deal to most people but it is kind of a big deal to me. We didn't even really do much, we just hung out. But still. It was a big deal. And having regular-friends is cool. Yesterday we went to a sex shop because one of them wanted to buy a rubber dick to wear under her pants and make people uncomfortable, and she wouldn't listen to me when I said that was what socks were for. She thought I was squeamish in the store but honestly it was just sort of weird; there were thousand-dollar gold vibrators and just..why.
- There's a guy I like(d) and he has a girlfriend and that's okay. I mean sure I can't make myself stop liking him (and I did try), but it's okay. I'm okay with it. A relationship like that is honestly not something I would be able to deal with right now (or possibly ever), and that's fine. In November I went to a thing and I met some dude and after hanging out with him for a while I realized he was flirting with me and it freaked me the fuck out and I went home and had a panic attack so it's actually pretty good that this has only happened once, and it is good that my friend has a girlfriend. I am more comfortable this way. Don't know whether that equates to 'happier', but it's honestly fine with me.
- My psychologist friend recently decided that I have depression, and is urging me to get therapy. I am resisting her as hard as I can, because I have a serious issue with getting a professional to help sort out my problems. And honestly, I'm extremely hardheaded and have convinced myself that I will be able to wear myself down and make myself better. This probably will not work, but it is all I can deal with at the moment. And while it may be flawed logic, it is all that I am prepared to live with right now; I am not ready to step out of my comfort zone just yet, not in that respect.
- OH DID I MENTION AMANDA PALMER AND NEIL GAIMAN GOT MARRIED it's pretty awesome. Also the Dresden Dolls had a reunion tour and I tried to see them in New York on Halloween but tickets sold out in like..a few hours, or something, I don't remember. And then there was a show in Boston on my birthday but since it was on a Wednesday I obviously couldn't go, so it was like a birthday punch. Ah well. She's on a tour in Australia right now, and also the Tristan Allen EP came out some time ago, and I love it. He's this kid she found on the street who writes these amazing piano compositions; my favorite is Janos vs Wonderland, and I've gotten into the habit of listening to the album while I sleep. Also, her Australia album just came out, and it's pretty sweet. Most of the songs are pretty silly but there are also some really great and not-silly ones. And..yeah that's all on the musical-obsession front.
- Okay, who reads Homestuck? (WHY AREN'T YOU READING HOMESTUCK YET?) Do it do it doooooooo itttttttt. Seriously, please. Never have I been more emotionally invested in fictional characters. Well, except maybe for Pixar movies.
- And speaking of Pixar movies, I really do not suggest watching them while PMSing. Seriously. I'm in the habit of watching movies while I do my homework - really I don't watch them, I just like having some background noise as I work. A lot of people do this. But a week ago I was animating and found myself sobbing; Woody and the gang were about to be incinerated, and then Andy left them for college, and..fffft. I wasn't even paying attention, but it killed me anyways. (I really do love this movie.)
- I need to draw more. I'm going to try to, this semester.
And yeah. I think that's it for now. Now you're caught up with my life. I'm going to try to not make this blog a whole mess of annoying, self-deprecating thoughts like it was. Maybe I'll post some of the things I started writing a long time ago. Maybe I won't. We'll see. Hopefully I can get it back off the ground.
Later.
Olivia
No comments:
Post a Comment