Hey yawl. I'm going to sleep early. I mean really early. Nine o'clock early. Made my DVD for the DV final project this afternoon. Will finish packing tomorrow; then Flushing tomorrow night with parents and rest-of-family; then load van Sunday morning before parents leave. Lala almost done whoo. I'm tired. So I'm sleeping. Good night.
Olivia
PS. I visited Ludlow today. The singles are only a bit larger than the GW singles, but the building is nicer. Plus there's a terrace so you can actually go outside without..going outside. If that makes sense. Whatever. Still kind of weird that the rooms can't lock the bathroom from inside the room. That is, two rooms are connected by one bathroom, and both doors have locks on the inside of the bathroom, but not on the outside.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A bit of an angry thing, then stuff about Amanda Palmer, then random bits.
For someone who doesn't like herself, I seem to still be pretty damn vain sometimes. Or arrogant, or something. I shouldn't be resentful if someone makes a drawing of me that I find distasteful..
And sometimes I have so much hatred in me. I don't know why. I don't want to. But I hate a lot of things. Even if only a little. Most of my dislike is really just tiny pieces of hate..if that makes sense.. I am secretly (or not secretly, depending on how well you know me and which face I wear around you) a very angry person. I don't actually lash out at people, but the bits of hate stew and fester inside and eventually I'm just going to melt or something.
I'm a bitter fuck and even though I know where I'm headed career-wise, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I try to be so goddamned independent but I still seem to rely on others to tell me that I'm better than I want to believe. I need to stop tearing myself down. I need someone to be nice to me.
(I just want to be happy and not care about stupid things and love life instead of liking it sometimes and tolerating it others. I want to be able to appreciate what I have instead of rarely being satisfied. I want to stop living my life only caring about what's going to happen in the future, and start living like I'm actually here in the present - I keep planning a better life for myself years down the road and writing off most of what I have now as transitional inconvenience. I want to stop viewing the good things that happen to me most days as flukes in a mediocre existence. I want to be a more likeable person. I want to be less of a recluse. I want to not have stupid depressing thoughts. Whenever I think about all these things I feel so immature and juvenile and lame. I do not want to be immature and juvenile and lame.)
Basically what I'm trying to say is,
GAWD. WHY DO I SUCK.
...
And on a lighter note, I fucking love Amanda Palmer.
Also, I love that this is the official video for Elephant Elephant. Way to be badass you guys. And by badass I probably mean really goofy.
Also, I wasn't planning on videospamming today, but this made me giggle.
Also she has a new song and it's free whoo. Free things are good.
...
Oh god more logos.
This is cool:
...
Oh by the way I got an A-plus in narrative workshop whooooo.
...
I seem to be using the word 'whoo' a lot. That's silly of me.
Good night.
Olivia
PS. WHOOOOOOOOO.
PPS. I fiddled a tiny bit with the formatting of the blog template, mainly because it was annoying me that the videos I embed tend to be wider than the text area. Funny how an extra two hundred pixels can make it look so different.
And sometimes I have so much hatred in me. I don't know why. I don't want to. But I hate a lot of things. Even if only a little. Most of my dislike is really just tiny pieces of hate..if that makes sense.. I am secretly (or not secretly, depending on how well you know me and which face I wear around you) a very angry person. I don't actually lash out at people, but the bits of hate stew and fester inside and eventually I'm just going to melt or something.
I'm a bitter fuck and even though I know where I'm headed career-wise, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I try to be so goddamned independent but I still seem to rely on others to tell me that I'm better than I want to believe. I need to stop tearing myself down. I need someone to be nice to me.
(I just want to be happy and not care about stupid things and love life instead of liking it sometimes and tolerating it others. I want to be able to appreciate what I have instead of rarely being satisfied. I want to stop living my life only caring about what's going to happen in the future, and start living like I'm actually here in the present - I keep planning a better life for myself years down the road and writing off most of what I have now as transitional inconvenience. I want to stop viewing the good things that happen to me most days as flukes in a mediocre existence. I want to be a more likeable person. I want to be less of a recluse. I want to not have stupid depressing thoughts. Whenever I think about all these things I feel so immature and juvenile and lame. I do not want to be immature and juvenile and lame.)
Basically what I'm trying to say is,
GAWD. WHY DO I SUCK.
...
And on a lighter note, I fucking love Amanda Palmer.
Also, I love that this is the official video for Elephant Elephant. Way to be badass you guys. And by badass I probably mean really goofy.
Also, I wasn't planning on videospamming today, but this made me giggle.
Also she has a new song and it's free whoo. Free things are good.
...
Oh god more logos.
This is cool:
...
Oh by the way I got an A-plus in narrative workshop whooooo.
...
I seem to be using the word 'whoo' a lot. That's silly of me.
Good night.
Olivia
PS. WHOOOOOOOOO.
PPS. I fiddled a tiny bit with the formatting of the blog template, mainly because it was annoying me that the videos I embed tend to be wider than the text area. Funny how an extra two hundred pixels can make it look so different.
Drawing stuff.
So, today was last drawing class. Kind of sad; gonna miss TM.
Also: We did our art trade thing. Shane and Oliver both gave me drawings relating to Pixar, lol. Monty..took a picture from Facebook that is probably the ugliest face I've ever made in a photo, and then made it even weirder. I dunno, he drew me as some kind of fantasy-villain-thing.. I mean, I know this is his imagination style - making weird mashup fantasy drawings - but I really don't like it as me.. In general I feel uncomfortable when people draw me, because I just don't like the way I look, and - this is going to sound rather bitchy - when the artist isn't super-good at drawing, I end up looking even worse than I already do. Seriously. And with this..I mean, I don't like drawings of myself in general, and then he went and made me weird. But..oh well.
Bah.
...
I'm working on my narrative workshop final. So that's all you get for today unless I think of a PS. Good night.
Olivia
PS. I'm glad I'm moving out on Monday. No more living with shrieking girls. I can only hope that the person with whom I will be sharing a bathroom next year (the singles at Ludlow are connected in twos by a shared bathroom; so you have to lock the other person's door too while you're in there, hurr) is a little more..like me.
Speaking of, Norm and Tom and I walked back to the dorms together from drawing today, and for some reason we started talking about dating opposite-gender versions of ourselves. (Apparently Jongwoo's new girlfriend is exactly like him, but a girl. Which is actually really adorable, because Jongwoo is such a sweet little video game dork. TM calls him a gentle genius.) They said they would do it, but I wouldn't. I think I'd probably get annoyed with him really quickly.. I don't like me very much..
Also: We did our art trade thing. Shane and Oliver both gave me drawings relating to Pixar, lol. Monty..took a picture from Facebook that is probably the ugliest face I've ever made in a photo, and then made it even weirder. I dunno, he drew me as some kind of fantasy-villain-thing.. I mean, I know this is his imagination style - making weird mashup fantasy drawings - but I really don't like it as me.. In general I feel uncomfortable when people draw me, because I just don't like the way I look, and - this is going to sound rather bitchy - when the artist isn't super-good at drawing, I end up looking even worse than I already do. Seriously. And with this..I mean, I don't like drawings of myself in general, and then he went and made me weird. But..oh well.
Bah.
...
I'm working on my narrative workshop final. So that's all you get for today unless I think of a PS. Good night.
Olivia
PS. I'm glad I'm moving out on Monday. No more living with shrieking girls. I can only hope that the person with whom I will be sharing a bathroom next year (the singles at Ludlow are connected in twos by a shared bathroom; so you have to lock the other person's door too while you're in there, hurr) is a little more..like me.
Speaking of, Norm and Tom and I walked back to the dorms together from drawing today, and for some reason we started talking about dating opposite-gender versions of ourselves. (Apparently Jongwoo's new girlfriend is exactly like him, but a girl. Which is actually really adorable, because Jongwoo is such a sweet little video game dork. TM calls him a gentle genius.) They said they would do it, but I wouldn't. I think I'd probably get annoyed with him really quickly.. I don't like me very much..
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Something random I started writing about books, and then forgot the point.
I just realized.
The real reason why JK Rowling and (unfortunately) Stephenie Meyer are famous is because they drastically defied fantasy conventions. They made the unreal accessible for this generation; Lord of the Rings was groundbreaking for its time, but now only the purists (read: geeks) have the attention span for Tolkien. I had read about wizard schools and child sorcerers before, but never were they as interesting or did they strike the right balance between life and magic as Harry Potter. And I hate to say this, but teenage girls are far more likely to read about a Mary Sue's wish fulfillment and gorgeous halfbreed boys fighting over her than they would be able to tolerate Dracula.
Okay so I started writing that this morning before class and then went to class and now it's two in the morning and I don't remember where I was going with it..
...
Can't believe tomorrow's the last drawing class. Will miss TM. Will possibly maybe miss staying up late Tuesday nights to finish drawing homework. (Maybe won't.) Anyways. That's what I'm doing now. Good night.
Olivia
The real reason why JK Rowling and (unfortunately) Stephenie Meyer are famous is because they drastically defied fantasy conventions. They made the unreal accessible for this generation; Lord of the Rings was groundbreaking for its time, but now only the purists (read: geeks) have the attention span for Tolkien. I had read about wizard schools and child sorcerers before, but never were they as interesting or did they strike the right balance between life and magic as Harry Potter. And I hate to say this, but teenage girls are far more likely to read about a Mary Sue's wish fulfillment and gorgeous halfbreed boys fighting over her than they would be able to tolerate Dracula.
Okay so I started writing that this morning before class and then went to class and now it's two in the morning and I don't remember where I was going with it..
...
Can't believe tomorrow's the last drawing class. Will miss TM. Will possibly maybe miss staying up late Tuesday nights to finish drawing homework. (Maybe won't.) Anyways. That's what I'm doing now. Good night.
Olivia
Monday, April 26, 2010
Oh look more linkspam kind of.
Okay. So I went to the Marina Abramovic show a while ago, while Jen was visiting. Someone posted this link on Facebook today. Portraits of people who started crying while sitting across from Abramovic during her 'The Artist is Present' exhibit. Maybe I'm just not deep enough in this respect, or not empathetic, or too apathetic. Maybe it's just because I didn't go up and sit across from her myself. But I don't understand. I'm not getting the emotion behind it. She was sitting there unmoving; why did her partners cry?
...
This is pretty cool. I don't plan on going into TD, but I want to learn how to do all this stuff to some degree, just so I can make good-looking short-things on my own.
...
This is fun. Do it. Do it now.
...
Oh boy finals stuff. Also my computer is being a total dick. So that's it for tonight.
Olivia
PS. Ohgodwhat.
...
This is pretty cool. I don't plan on going into TD, but I want to learn how to do all this stuff to some degree, just so I can make good-looking short-things on my own.
...
This is fun. Do it. Do it now.
...
Oh boy finals stuff. Also my computer is being a total dick. So that's it for tonight.
Olivia
PS. Ohgodwhat.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Mostly on leaving.
So. Today I started packing. I haven't decided whether I have more shit than I was expecting, or less. Either way, it's kind of refreshing to be getting ready to go home, but also kind of weird. I'm not sure whether or not I've realized I'm going home in a week, yet. It only just hit me yesterday morning that I had to work on my finals. I..have a strange way of living.
I can't wait to go home, though. Living in New York is cool, living basically-on-my-own is cool, but I miss my cat and I miss my family even though I just saw them, and I am looking forward to the break. I'm going to be cramming it, though; need to get a new computer, so I can animate over the summer. Need to draw more, hella more. Need to make money, need to get a job. Need to hang out with Molly as much as possible because..I miss her. So much. So much.
I miss my brother a lot, actually. It's kind of weird. But he was basically my best friend growing up. And he's a really great kid. Whenever I see them we talk constantly about all sorts of random shit. I'll be glad to be back with him for a few months.
I may go to China for the Shanghai World Expo with my uncle's family for a couple of weeks in summer. They offered to let me go with them, anyways. But first I have to figure out my schedule and talk to my parents about it and stuff. And..get money.. Anyways, they're also going to Nanjing, where my mom was born. Apparently I went when I was three, but, obviously, I don't remember. Last time I visited China, I was either twelve or thirteen. It's been a while. I'd like to go. But at the same time, there's so much I need to get done at home. We'll see. (Also I have barely-passable, really-quite-shitty fluency in Chinese. My cousin Alex, eight years old, is probably better than me. Plus he can read more than me. I kind of regret never paying attention in Chinese school..)
I've been studying for my art history final all day. It's tomorrowwwww argh. It should be better than the midterm, though; that thing was hell. And I barely passed. I am ashamed.
Finals. Finals finals finals.
...
Talking to dude. We are freaked out that we are one-fourth done with college. I didn't think of it that way until he said it just now. Argh. Weird. I only have three more years to impress Pixar and DreamWorks..
...
Yeah. That's it. More work now. Or maybe I'll slack off. Hopefully the former..
Olivia
I can't wait to go home, though. Living in New York is cool, living basically-on-my-own is cool, but I miss my cat and I miss my family even though I just saw them, and I am looking forward to the break. I'm going to be cramming it, though; need to get a new computer, so I can animate over the summer. Need to draw more, hella more. Need to make money, need to get a job. Need to hang out with Molly as much as possible because..I miss her. So much. So much.
I miss my brother a lot, actually. It's kind of weird. But he was basically my best friend growing up. And he's a really great kid. Whenever I see them we talk constantly about all sorts of random shit. I'll be glad to be back with him for a few months.
I may go to China for the Shanghai World Expo with my uncle's family for a couple of weeks in summer. They offered to let me go with them, anyways. But first I have to figure out my schedule and talk to my parents about it and stuff. And..get money.. Anyways, they're also going to Nanjing, where my mom was born. Apparently I went when I was three, but, obviously, I don't remember. Last time I visited China, I was either twelve or thirteen. It's been a while. I'd like to go. But at the same time, there's so much I need to get done at home. We'll see. (Also I have barely-passable, really-quite-shitty fluency in Chinese. My cousin Alex, eight years old, is probably better than me. Plus he can read more than me. I kind of regret never paying attention in Chinese school..)
I've been studying for my art history final all day. It's tomorrowwwww argh. It should be better than the midterm, though; that thing was hell. And I barely passed. I am ashamed.
Finals. Finals finals finals.
...
Talking to dude. We are freaked out that we are one-fourth done with college. I didn't think of it that way until he said it just now. Argh. Weird. I only have three more years to impress Pixar and DreamWorks..
...
Yeah. That's it. More work now. Or maybe I'll slack off. Hopefully the former..
Olivia
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Drugs, and a bit of linkspam.
Uh.. I am kind of like this I guess. I count stairs and I count while I'm clapping and I add timecode..
...
That dentist is my hero of the day, by the way. Woke up this morning and was like WTF MY MOUTH DOESN'T HURT THIS IS AWESOME.
Moral of the story: Drugs are good. (Or something like that.)
...
Wow. Just..wow.
...
I am rather liking this comic. Heh. (Oh god. xD )
...
I don't have anything interesting to say today. Good night?
Olivia
...
That dentist is my hero of the day, by the way. Woke up this morning and was like WTF MY MOUTH DOESN'T HURT THIS IS AWESOME.
Moral of the story: Drugs are good. (Or something like that.)
...
Wow. Just..wow.
...
I am rather liking this comic. Heh. (Oh god. xD )
...
I don't have anything interesting to say today. Good night?
Olivia
Friday, April 23, 2010
Teeth and meds and the anti-sexy and belief systems and things based on card games.
Just got back from dentist. Had some issues with insurance at first - and I'm not going to deny: I was feeling shitty and sensitive and my tooth was hurting my mood, and it took an effort to stop myself from bawling - but it worked out. Apparently I have to get a root canal. Boo. Anyways, so I'm going to do that when I get home. Meanwhile I got an antibiotic, so thank you Mister Dentist Man for helping me out. It should start working in about a day so for now I shall drug myself with Advil and wait for that.
Also my tooth is a bit loose - I felt it last night but was hoping it was my imagination - and when he pointed it out I wanted to cry.
Medical problems, it seems, make me extremely sensitive.
...
Eight o'clock in the evening, took three pills in a row. Zyrtec, Advil, and antibiotic-for-tooth-infection-that-is-a-capsule-with-two-pretty-colors-that-remind-me-of-the-ocean. (I don't know what the actual name of the drug is..but we'll just call it that.) Ooh, I should add the two pills I'm supposed to have been taking for a year now, so I can really feel like a sick dying person..
Lol..
...
So today at the 3D Animators' Club meeting there was this acting / movement teacher from some acting studio nearby. The department might hire her, so I guess we were giving her a trial run or something. We did a lot of silly movement stuff. One thing involved wearing 'neutral masks' and 'acting only with your body' and 'stripping away the real masks' and whatever. So it was a few of us up at a time, because there were only a few masks. She had us doing weird stuff, and that was okay. Then she told my group - of course it was my group, of course she would pick the one thing I refuse outright to do in an acting class, even One Act Play - to be sexy-seductive-whatever, and I panicked, so instead of doing it I turned around, shook my head, and then shuffled over into the corner and hid behind the whiteboard-on-wheels.
Yeah. Classy.
...
Tarot cards are cool. I have some friends who are drawing tarot sets with their OCs.
They are just cool. Sometimes I wish I could believe in things. Sometimes I wish I believed in a god, or God. Sometimes I wish I believed in that spiritual-zen-Buddhist-Daoist-cyclical stuff. Sometimes I wish I believed in things like tarot cards and palm reading and lucky talismans.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a skeptic.
...
And on that note, I talked to God today. Done it before, but my brother sent me the link just now so I fucked with it again. It's fun.
Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Don't you know my name already?
God:
Perhaps. Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
My name is Olivia.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Olivia.
Me:
I'm sure you are. But I guess you're not as omniscient as you want us to believe.
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not. Perhaps one day I will be as omniscient as me want us to believe.
Me:
And that's why.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Ugh.
God:
Er.
Me:
Wow. You're like a monkey.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Olivia. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
Oh god.
God:
Yippee! GOD rules.
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
So the truth comes out!
God:
Next question? I hear you.
Me:
God, do you exist?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That doesn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
I think you've got it backwards.
God:
Me? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Never mind.
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
I can't talk to you anymore, God.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
You're annoying.
God:
I am sorry, Olivia, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
That's alright.
God:
OK With me too.
Me:
But I have to go anyways.
God:
Bye. You sound bored.
Me:
I was, so I'm leaving. Bye.
God:
Where were you so you are leaving? Adios.
God is dumb. (And by God I mean the program so don't harass me like people did that one time when I was watching The Prince of Egypt and said in my status on Facebook that God was kind of a dick for sending all those fucking plagues. It was a joke. Sort of.)
...
"You know what I realized? A frightening number of people on [deviantART] are Pokemon people. Their galleries, journals, icons, whatever, are filled with Pokemon. Fanart, stories, recolors, original characters. Pokemon are everywhere.
"I am now of the belief that Pokemon probably would solve the world's problems, because so many people love them. Peace everywhere.
"Peace, except for the times when people bring their Pokemon "friends" together to beat the everloving crap out of each other. Nothing says "I love you, my dear little Pocket Monster" like making it fight until it passes out for your own amusement. Yes, keep telling yourself you're a trainer. Your little friend is not the monster. Look in the mirror. YOU ARE THE MONSTER. You are Michael Vick except your dogs can shoot fire and lightning and stuff."
Heh. Pokemon is awesome.
...
Okay girls. The shrieking thing? Really getting obnoxious. Do they have any other way to express happiness?
...
Awright. Off to watch some more YGOTAS and then to sleep.
Olivia
Also my tooth is a bit loose - I felt it last night but was hoping it was my imagination - and when he pointed it out I wanted to cry.
Medical problems, it seems, make me extremely sensitive.
...
Eight o'clock in the evening, took three pills in a row. Zyrtec, Advil, and antibiotic-for-tooth-infection-that-is-a-capsule-with-two-pretty-colors-that-remind-me-of-the-ocean. (I don't know what the actual name of the drug is..but we'll just call it that.) Ooh, I should add the two pills I'm supposed to have been taking for a year now, so I can really feel like a sick dying person..
Lol..
...
So today at the 3D Animators' Club meeting there was this acting / movement teacher from some acting studio nearby. The department might hire her, so I guess we were giving her a trial run or something. We did a lot of silly movement stuff. One thing involved wearing 'neutral masks' and 'acting only with your body' and 'stripping away the real masks' and whatever. So it was a few of us up at a time, because there were only a few masks. She had us doing weird stuff, and that was okay. Then she told my group - of course it was my group, of course she would pick the one thing I refuse outright to do in an acting class, even One Act Play - to be sexy-seductive-whatever, and I panicked, so instead of doing it I turned around, shook my head, and then shuffled over into the corner and hid behind the whiteboard-on-wheels.
Yeah. Classy.
...
Tarot cards are cool. I have some friends who are drawing tarot sets with their OCs.
They are just cool. Sometimes I wish I could believe in things. Sometimes I wish I believed in a god, or God. Sometimes I wish I believed in that spiritual-zen-Buddhist-Daoist-cyclical stuff. Sometimes I wish I believed in things like tarot cards and palm reading and lucky talismans.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a skeptic.
...
And on that note, I talked to God today. Done it before, but my brother sent me the link just now so I fucked with it again. It's fun.
Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Don't you know my name already?
God:
Perhaps. Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
My name is Olivia.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Olivia.
Me:
I'm sure you are. But I guess you're not as omniscient as you want us to believe.
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not. Perhaps one day I will be as omniscient as me want us to believe.
Me:
And that's why.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Ugh.
God:
Er.
Me:
Wow. You're like a monkey.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Olivia. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
Oh god.
God:
Yippee! GOD rules.
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
So the truth comes out!
God:
Next question? I hear you.
Me:
God, do you exist?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That doesn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
I think you've got it backwards.
God:
Me? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Never mind.
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
I can't talk to you anymore, God.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
You're annoying.
God:
I am sorry, Olivia, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
That's alright.
God:
OK With me too.
Me:
But I have to go anyways.
God:
Bye. You sound bored.
Me:
I was, so I'm leaving. Bye.
God:
Where were you so you are leaving? Adios.
God is dumb. (And by God I mean the program so don't harass me like people did that one time when I was watching The Prince of Egypt and said in my status on Facebook that God was kind of a dick for sending all those fucking plagues. It was a joke. Sort of.)
...
"You know what I realized? A frightening number of people on [deviantART] are Pokemon people. Their galleries, journals, icons, whatever, are filled with Pokemon. Fanart, stories, recolors, original characters. Pokemon are everywhere.
"I am now of the belief that Pokemon probably would solve the world's problems, because so many people love them. Peace everywhere.
"Peace, except for the times when people bring their Pokemon "friends" together to beat the everloving crap out of each other. Nothing says "I love you, my dear little Pocket Monster" like making it fight until it passes out for your own amusement. Yes, keep telling yourself you're a trainer. Your little friend is not the monster. Look in the mirror. YOU ARE THE MONSTER. You are Michael Vick except your dogs can shoot fire and lightning and stuff."
Heh. Pokemon is awesome.
...
Okay girls. The shrieking thing? Really getting obnoxious. Do they have any other way to express happiness?
...
Awright. Off to watch some more YGOTAS and then to sleep.
Olivia
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Still in pain; medicines; more stuff about DreamWorks and the industry in general; YGOTAS lol.
Did I mention that I have a toothache? Because I. Have. A. Tooth. Ache. Ow ow. Ow.
What sucks is that it's one of my front teeth. So I really really can't ignore it. And I am now gnawing all my food with one side of my mouth; at least when it's one of the back teeth, you can still bite with the front. (Also, this is the tooth that had a cavity a year ago. Argh. Why can't they all happen in those back teeth?)
I'm sad. I want the dentist to fix it tomorrow. Hopefully..he fixes it. My mom says it's probably an infection. Which sucks, because then I need to buy antibiotics. See below, which was actually written before this particular paragraph about meds. (Teeth are annoying. Why can't they just be nicer.)
...
Zyrtec is my hero.
By the way, I should probably start taking those pills again for [undisclosed theoretical onset physical health condition currently still prey to my heavy skepticism and chosen ignorance] (it's not as serious as that might make it sound) that I've been ignoring for..like a year now. Or basically since they were first prescribed. Whichever came first. I mean I take them sometimes but usually I don't. Be glad I'm not on birth control or something, because I'd start slacking off after the first week. In fact I'd probably have started forgetting to take my Zyrtec too if my allergies weren't so overbearing and cruel.
I am not proud of ignoring my medication, but it seems to be a fact of my life..
Compare this to lying to anyone with a degree in psychology..
I seem to be rather stubborn.
...
Oh by the way.. my drawing class went to see How to Train Your Dragon yesterday. (We're computer art majors, we can get away with that, plus our drawing teacher kicks ass.) Anyways. Definitely the best DreamWorks movie to date; I loved it. I'd say I'm proud of the DreamWorks writing department for getting their heads out of the mud, but the fourth Shrek is coming out this summer, so it might just be a fluke. Hopefully not. Hopefully after the Shrek-sequel-shit is over, they will start making a steady stream of awesome movies. (Shrek was great, guys. Now let it rest in peace for fuck's sake.)
The visuals were gorgeous. I am so happy I live in this era of computer art. Everything's just getting better and better. Look at Avatar - the visuals, not the writing, of course - I mean, nobody can say honestly that the world isn't fucking beautiful. And one thing I can say about the clip of Shrek Forever After that we were shown when the representative from DreamWorks visited: The textures are ridiculously good.
This is why I want to work for a big studio. Because the big studios are the ones who make, not only entertainment, but fucking works of art. Industry-evolving innovative art, at that.
...
Speaking of Avatar (and I hate that now and forevermore I will have to refer to Avatar: The Last Airbender as 'no, not the blue people, the TV show about the kid'; goddamned James Cameron; I really liked that show when it was still going) (actually, right now I am talking about the blue people, so now I feel kind of silly for rambling), I think I may watch it tonight. Got it from the film library this week. SVA: So you never have to pay for mainstream movies again.
...
Signs of my mental instability:
I watch bits of Avatar while waiting for episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series to load on Youtube. (Can I help it? YGOTAS is fantastic.)
One thing that bothers me about Avatar: They use Papyrus, or a very similar font, for the subtitles when the Na'vi are speaking their..Na'vi language. (Na'viese? Na'vian? Na'vilonian? But anyways.) Maybe I'm just a font snob, but..argh. Papyrus and Comic Sans / Chalkboard are among my least favorite common fonts. Oh god, and remember in elementary school when everyone was using Curlz MT? -choke-
Anyways I'm tired now so I'll just finish watching tomorrow. Good night.
Olivia
What sucks is that it's one of my front teeth. So I really really can't ignore it. And I am now gnawing all my food with one side of my mouth; at least when it's one of the back teeth, you can still bite with the front. (Also, this is the tooth that had a cavity a year ago. Argh. Why can't they all happen in those back teeth?)
I'm sad. I want the dentist to fix it tomorrow. Hopefully..he fixes it. My mom says it's probably an infection. Which sucks, because then I need to buy antibiotics. See below, which was actually written before this particular paragraph about meds. (Teeth are annoying. Why can't they just be nicer.)
...
Zyrtec is my hero.
By the way, I should probably start taking those pills again for [undisclosed theoretical onset physical health condition currently still prey to my heavy skepticism and chosen ignorance] (it's not as serious as that might make it sound) that I've been ignoring for..like a year now. Or basically since they were first prescribed. Whichever came first. I mean I take them sometimes but usually I don't. Be glad I'm not on birth control or something, because I'd start slacking off after the first week. In fact I'd probably have started forgetting to take my Zyrtec too if my allergies weren't so overbearing and cruel.
I am not proud of ignoring my medication, but it seems to be a fact of my life..
Compare this to lying to anyone with a degree in psychology..
I seem to be rather stubborn.
...
Oh by the way.. my drawing class went to see How to Train Your Dragon yesterday. (We're computer art majors, we can get away with that, plus our drawing teacher kicks ass.) Anyways. Definitely the best DreamWorks movie to date; I loved it. I'd say I'm proud of the DreamWorks writing department for getting their heads out of the mud, but the fourth Shrek is coming out this summer, so it might just be a fluke. Hopefully not. Hopefully after the Shrek-sequel-shit is over, they will start making a steady stream of awesome movies. (Shrek was great, guys. Now let it rest in peace for fuck's sake.)
The visuals were gorgeous. I am so happy I live in this era of computer art. Everything's just getting better and better. Look at Avatar - the visuals, not the writing, of course - I mean, nobody can say honestly that the world isn't fucking beautiful. And one thing I can say about the clip of Shrek Forever After that we were shown when the representative from DreamWorks visited: The textures are ridiculously good.
This is why I want to work for a big studio. Because the big studios are the ones who make, not only entertainment, but fucking works of art. Industry-evolving innovative art, at that.
...
Speaking of Avatar (and I hate that now and forevermore I will have to refer to Avatar: The Last Airbender as 'no, not the blue people, the TV show about the kid'; goddamned James Cameron; I really liked that show when it was still going) (actually, right now I am talking about the blue people, so now I feel kind of silly for rambling), I think I may watch it tonight. Got it from the film library this week. SVA: So you never have to pay for mainstream movies again.
...
Signs of my mental instability:
I watch bits of Avatar while waiting for episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series to load on Youtube. (Can I help it? YGOTAS is fantastic.)
One thing that bothers me about Avatar: They use Papyrus, or a very similar font, for the subtitles when the Na'vi are speaking their..Na'vi language. (Na'viese? Na'vian? Na'vilonian? But anyways.) Maybe I'm just a font snob, but..argh. Papyrus and Comic Sans / Chalkboard are among my least favorite common fonts. Oh god, and remember in elementary school when everyone was using Curlz MT? -choke-
Anyways I'm tired now so I'll just finish watching tomorrow. Good night.
Olivia
It's not my fault. D:
Sorry. Got kidnapped by my family last night before I could write anything; spent the night in Queens.
Olivia
Olivia
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Video and video game movies and movies and..teeth.
OH MA GAH. PROFESSOR LAYTON MOVIE. -dork dork dork-
I mean, it's Japanese, so it's not like I could see it and understand it without subtitles which sucks, and it's live action which is kind of weird (but hey, they're doing it with Avatar: The Last Airbender - and I hate that I have to specify with the full title of that show, now), but I just like that they're making it a movie at all. Or..made it..I can't read that website..it's Japanese..
...
Hey guys look here at this thing I made.
I kind of want to go back and add more to the drums (yellow) and the bass-y-thing (blue), and tweak the guitar-y bits (red). This thing took too many hours as it is, and I was ten minutes away from getting kicked out of the lab, so I left it un-tweaked. As in, they don't always line up with exactly what's happening with the sound, but I went with the basic gist for the first layer of work and never got to the second layer. If that makes sense.
Seriously though. I have been listening to the Homestuck album so much that whenever I watch this video immediately I expect the next song to start playing.
...
Oh by the way happy 4/20 you guys. Guess what that means.
Absolutely nothing.
...
Toothache. Going to the dentist on Friday. Not sure which is worse, the toothache or the dentist.
I don't like going to doctors. It makes me uncomfortable. Just like I don't want people I don't know, like psychologists, probing into my mind.
But ah well. Might as well try to be grown up about this. -brave face-
...
Twelve o'clock early bedtime. Don't want to fuck up my schedule even more. Instead of going back to bed at four in the morning, I ended up watching Hercules. Don't know why. Don't ask me. Anyways, then I went back to bed at six and woke up at eight. So..I'm going to try to be normal tonight.
Good night. Hopefully.
Olivia
PS. It's not freezing in my room. I think there's something wrong with my air conditioner. This is disturbing.
I mean, it's Japanese, so it's not like I could see it and understand it without subtitles which sucks, and it's live action which is kind of weird (but hey, they're doing it with Avatar: The Last Airbender - and I hate that I have to specify with the full title of that show, now), but I just like that they're making it a movie at all. Or..made it..I can't read that website..it's Japanese..
...
Hey guys look here at this thing I made.
I kind of want to go back and add more to the drums (yellow) and the bass-y-thing (blue), and tweak the guitar-y bits (red). This thing took too many hours as it is, and I was ten minutes away from getting kicked out of the lab, so I left it un-tweaked. As in, they don't always line up with exactly what's happening with the sound, but I went with the basic gist for the first layer of work and never got to the second layer. If that makes sense.
Seriously though. I have been listening to the Homestuck album so much that whenever I watch this video immediately I expect the next song to start playing.
...
Oh by the way happy 4/20 you guys. Guess what that means.
Absolutely nothing.
...
Toothache. Going to the dentist on Friday. Not sure which is worse, the toothache or the dentist.
I don't like going to doctors. It makes me uncomfortable. Just like I don't want people I don't know, like psychologists, probing into my mind.
But ah well. Might as well try to be grown up about this. -brave face-
...
Twelve o'clock early bedtime. Don't want to fuck up my schedule even more. Instead of going back to bed at four in the morning, I ended up watching Hercules. Don't know why. Don't ask me. Anyways, then I went back to bed at six and woke up at eight. So..I'm going to try to be normal tonight.
Good night. Hopefully.
Olivia
PS. It's not freezing in my room. I think there's something wrong with my air conditioner. This is disturbing.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Really I only had time to write about cookies before I fucked up.
Black-and-white cookies and I have kind of a strange relationship.
They are delicious. They're like cake but in cookie form. They're kind of awesome. But, without fail, after having gotten about halfway through, I always stop. It's probably the intensity of the fondant-icing-stuff, but I always have to stop halfway through. Too sweet, or something. It makes my teeth hurt. Sometimes I finish it later. Often, though, I forget it exists until a few days later; upon happily realizing that I still have half a black-and-white cookie, I am soon let down by the staleness of my formerly delicious friend.
This one's from Friday, and still good. I guess I rewrapped it well this time.
Yum.
...
Argh I hate when this happens. I went to take a nap around five. Woke up just now; it's four in the morning. I mean, I did only get two hours of sleep last night, but still.
Bah. Back to bed; don't want to wake up late tomorrow.
Olivia
They are delicious. They're like cake but in cookie form. They're kind of awesome. But, without fail, after having gotten about halfway through, I always stop. It's probably the intensity of the fondant-icing-stuff, but I always have to stop halfway through. Too sweet, or something. It makes my teeth hurt. Sometimes I finish it later. Often, though, I forget it exists until a few days later; upon happily realizing that I still have half a black-and-white cookie, I am soon let down by the staleness of my formerly delicious friend.
This one's from Friday, and still good. I guess I rewrapped it well this time.
Yum.
...
Argh I hate when this happens. I went to take a nap around five. Woke up just now; it's four in the morning. I mean, I did only get two hours of sleep last night, but still.
Bah. Back to bed; don't want to wake up late tomorrow.
Olivia
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Procrastination kills.
This page on Disney music makes me happy.
On the TVTropes article on Moulin Rouge: "If you follow the opening of the movie, it's really a movie depicting a stage performance of a movie about a man singing about a man writing the story of his involvement in a musical about a man whose involvement in a musical mirrors the writer's."
Yes I spent too much of my life on TVTropes today. Swore I'd never do it again, but here we are.
...
Oh by the way now it's ten to five in the morning whoooooo I stayed up too late. Did my DV homework in like an hour, then did last week's DV homework in like eight hours. Got back to my room around one. Finished a project that should have been done two weeks ago. Whoo. I'm stupid.
Very proud of my last-week's DV homework, though. Had to animate fourteen squares in After Effects; I set mine to a track off the Homestuck album, with the squares representing the sounds. Uh. I'll upload to Youtube tomorrow, probably. Right now, time for sleep.
I am SO STUPID but oh well it was a good weekend anyways,
Olivia
On the TVTropes article on Moulin Rouge: "If you follow the opening of the movie, it's really a movie depicting a stage performance of a movie about a man singing about a man writing the story of his involvement in a musical about a man whose involvement in a musical mirrors the writer's."
Yes I spent too much of my life on TVTropes today. Swore I'd never do it again, but here we are.
...
Oh by the way now it's ten to five in the morning whoooooo I stayed up too late. Did my DV homework in like an hour, then did last week's DV homework in like eight hours. Got back to my room around one. Finished a project that should have been done two weeks ago. Whoo. I'm stupid.
Very proud of my last-week's DV homework, though. Had to animate fourteen squares in After Effects; I set mine to a track off the Homestuck album, with the squares representing the sounds. Uh. I'll upload to Youtube tomorrow, probably. Right now, time for sleep.
I am SO STUPID but oh well it was a good weekend anyways,
Olivia
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Day and stuff.
So not used to getting lots of stuff done all in one weekend-day. Now it's happening twice in a row.
Got up early. Went to see Christine and Robby and Dervla and Megan and Dervla's-boyfriend-Max in Times Square. Spent too much money on food, because..Times Square. Back to room. Was about to try to nap; Danny messaged on Facebook about the DV homework, so I had to answer that; then I answered a mail from Alex about where to get cheap-ish CS4. (Link for future reference because I will probably forget.) Tried to nap for about thirty seconds; got comfortable and then decided that I wanted to do something more productive than napping. So..now I'm awake again, and drawing shit. Might go to Flushing for dinner; might then meet up with Emma - she's in the city to see some tap show or something. Tomorrow's her birthday.
Yeah. Talk to you later.
...
It's later.
This is what I said to someone just now. I don't want to re-word it so I will just copy-paste.
"So. One of my friends from back home is a freshman at Hofstra. All year we've been talking about her visiting me - I mean, it's Long Island to Manhattan, not exactly a huge commute - but she's never had the time, or whatever. Okay, sure, fine. Lots of work, whatever. I get it. She's majoring in forensic science. Too much homework. Whenever she does visit the city, for a show or a play or something, she forgets to tell me until afterwards. Oops, she forgot, okay. Yesterday she texted me saying she's be in tonight for a tap show, and asked if I wanted to meet up afterwards. She said she'd be with someone else, but it would be fine. I was happy, because other than a couple hours over winter break, I haven't seen her all school year. The show was ending around nine, want to meet up at Penn Station before she takes the train back to Long Island? Yes, that was fine with me. I was in Queens this evening having dinner with some family members who live in Flushing and New Jersey; it's kind of a regular thing on Saturdays. I got back to my dorm at nine. Called my friend. How did the train schedule look? It would take at least a half hour for me to get there, so if she had to get her train before then I didn't want to slow her down. She said she didn't know, but they'd be at Penn in fifteen minutes, and she'd call me when they got there. So I booked it over to Penn; got there at nine thirty-five. Received a text from her after I'd left the subway station, from five minutes previous, saying that she was sorry but they'd had to leave or else they'd have had to wait around for a long time for the next train. I stared at my phone incredulously for a minute, then turned around to head back to my dorm.
"So. Four-fifty transportation fee. Over an hour in transit. Plus stress. And she couldn't even wait for me? I mean, even if I'd gotten there five minutes early, or ten, did she think we would just say hi and part ways? Didn't it occur to her that waiting around for the next train might not be so bad, considering she would be hanging out with a friend she'd barely seen a whole year? She lost nothing at all from this little misadventure; I lost my trust in her.
"And now my nose is bleeding..
"I was having such a good day, too. One hour ruined it."
...
Anyways. I'm going to twiddle my thumbs and keep having a good weekend. Friday was good. Today was mostly good with a little bit of not-good. Tomorrow I have to do my DV homework. Hopefully tomorrow is also good.
...
By the way, just so you know.. Bacon..is delicious.
I had forgotten that bacon is delicious. I mean, it always was a fact in my mind that bacon is delicious, but I think that over time it had become more of a theoretical deliciousness, because I hadn't had bacon in so long. Now I can firmly say that bacon is indeed delicious, both in theory and in practice.
Of course, pictures of bacon, especially massive quantities of bacon, especially really greasy bacon, make me feel nauseous. But bacon as an idea is a good idea, and a couple strips of bacon that someone removed from her burger and that you took as leftovers and ate later..is delicious.
This is, I think, one of the stranger things I've posted on this blog..
...
This I found out about at MoCCA last weekend. Small studio in midtown, working on their first feature film. Met the head animator, talked with him a little, told him I'm a freshman at SVA. Been in contact with him since then, and he's given me tips on how to move forward with my skill improvement. Showed him my reel. They're looking for interns with more experience, so maybe I'll apply next summer. He asked me to keep in touch and continue showing him my work, so this is good. I have a professional guy who wants to help me out. Awesome.
Even if their movie does look kind of weird.
...
Interesting blog entry about character development.
I would like to read all of these at some point, because they look cool.
Yeah I'm just looking at a bunch of writing articles right now.
Coooool.
Lol I like geek jokes.
...
Oops I went to bed before posting this..
Good..morning?
Olivia
Got up early. Went to see Christine and Robby and Dervla and Megan and Dervla's-boyfriend-Max in Times Square. Spent too much money on food, because..Times Square. Back to room. Was about to try to nap; Danny messaged on Facebook about the DV homework, so I had to answer that; then I answered a mail from Alex about where to get cheap-ish CS4. (Link for future reference because I will probably forget.) Tried to nap for about thirty seconds; got comfortable and then decided that I wanted to do something more productive than napping. So..now I'm awake again, and drawing shit. Might go to Flushing for dinner; might then meet up with Emma - she's in the city to see some tap show or something. Tomorrow's her birthday.
Yeah. Talk to you later.
...
It's later.
This is what I said to someone just now. I don't want to re-word it so I will just copy-paste.
"So. One of my friends from back home is a freshman at Hofstra. All year we've been talking about her visiting me - I mean, it's Long Island to Manhattan, not exactly a huge commute - but she's never had the time, or whatever. Okay, sure, fine. Lots of work, whatever. I get it. She's majoring in forensic science. Too much homework. Whenever she does visit the city, for a show or a play or something, she forgets to tell me until afterwards. Oops, she forgot, okay. Yesterday she texted me saying she's be in tonight for a tap show, and asked if I wanted to meet up afterwards. She said she'd be with someone else, but it would be fine. I was happy, because other than a couple hours over winter break, I haven't seen her all school year. The show was ending around nine, want to meet up at Penn Station before she takes the train back to Long Island? Yes, that was fine with me. I was in Queens this evening having dinner with some family members who live in Flushing and New Jersey; it's kind of a regular thing on Saturdays. I got back to my dorm at nine. Called my friend. How did the train schedule look? It would take at least a half hour for me to get there, so if she had to get her train before then I didn't want to slow her down. She said she didn't know, but they'd be at Penn in fifteen minutes, and she'd call me when they got there. So I booked it over to Penn; got there at nine thirty-five. Received a text from her after I'd left the subway station, from five minutes previous, saying that she was sorry but they'd had to leave or else they'd have had to wait around for a long time for the next train. I stared at my phone incredulously for a minute, then turned around to head back to my dorm.
"So. Four-fifty transportation fee. Over an hour in transit. Plus stress. And she couldn't even wait for me? I mean, even if I'd gotten there five minutes early, or ten, did she think we would just say hi and part ways? Didn't it occur to her that waiting around for the next train might not be so bad, considering she would be hanging out with a friend she'd barely seen a whole year? She lost nothing at all from this little misadventure; I lost my trust in her.
"And now my nose is bleeding..
"I was having such a good day, too. One hour ruined it."
...
Anyways. I'm going to twiddle my thumbs and keep having a good weekend. Friday was good. Today was mostly good with a little bit of not-good. Tomorrow I have to do my DV homework. Hopefully tomorrow is also good.
...
By the way, just so you know.. Bacon..is delicious.
I had forgotten that bacon is delicious. I mean, it always was a fact in my mind that bacon is delicious, but I think that over time it had become more of a theoretical deliciousness, because I hadn't had bacon in so long. Now I can firmly say that bacon is indeed delicious, both in theory and in practice.
Of course, pictures of bacon, especially massive quantities of bacon, especially really greasy bacon, make me feel nauseous. But bacon as an idea is a good idea, and a couple strips of bacon that someone removed from her burger and that you took as leftovers and ate later..is delicious.
This is, I think, one of the stranger things I've posted on this blog..
...
This I found out about at MoCCA last weekend. Small studio in midtown, working on their first feature film. Met the head animator, talked with him a little, told him I'm a freshman at SVA. Been in contact with him since then, and he's given me tips on how to move forward with my skill improvement. Showed him my reel. They're looking for interns with more experience, so maybe I'll apply next summer. He asked me to keep in touch and continue showing him my work, so this is good. I have a professional guy who wants to help me out. Awesome.
Even if their movie does look kind of weird.
...
Interesting blog entry about character development.
I would like to read all of these at some point, because they look cool.
Yeah I'm just looking at a bunch of writing articles right now.
Coooool.
Lol I like geek jokes.
...
Oops I went to bed before posting this..
Good..morning?
Olivia
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wow I actually did stuff today.
Hey internet guess what, I finally had a productive Friday! Argghhh. Usually I just stay in bed until noon and then laze about and halfheartedly pretend to work. But no. I went to the department thesis showing and sat through three and a half hours of theses - dude they had free bagels, it was awesome; also for some reason they had fresh-squeezed orange juice instead of carton, which is mind-blowing, because at Gramercy Star a little thing of fresh orange juice is like three dollars; and then Tom and I got into a long and thoughtful discussion about orange juice, because he was trying to avoid his annoying roommate, but anyways - and then I went back to my room and drew for a while, and then I went to the sculpture show and saw Professor Baron and talked to Nina and then went back to my room and drew some more, and then my family came and we had dinner, and now..it's now.
Productive Friday. Not a common occurrence. Whooo.
...
Quoth Christine, on the Sassy Gay Friend series on Youtube: "It's a mix between my two favorite things - Shakespeare and homosexuals."
Speaking of Christine, I'm seeing her tomorrow whooooooo.
...
It is three thirty and wow I have stayed up way too late drawing silly things in Photoshop. Normally it would not be a problem, but I am getting up early tomorrow. Bedtime.
Olivia
Productive Friday. Not a common occurrence. Whooo.
...
Quoth Christine, on the Sassy Gay Friend series on Youtube: "It's a mix between my two favorite things - Shakespeare and homosexuals."
Speaking of Christine, I'm seeing her tomorrow whooooooo.
...
It is three thirty and wow I have stayed up way too late drawing silly things in Photoshop. Normally it would not be a problem, but I am getting up early tomorrow. Bedtime.
Olivia
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Drugs and Nickelodeon and art and fishes.
GUESS WHAT I LOVE. I LOVE ZYRTEC. Seriously allergy medication is the bomb. Last Sunday I couldn't fucking breathe, so, predictably, I didn't sleep very well. (Kept waking up in like ten-minute increments because I would stop breathing..) Anyways, after that I got Zyrtec and I figured I would sing its praises, because my nasal passages are cleared up and it makes for happy-Olivia-in-the-springtime.
...
So, Nickelodeon Animations Studios visited the department today to give a presentation. Turns out they're all pre- and post-; the animation itself is outsourced to India and China and shit. So while I may apply for an internship in boarding or something next summer, guess where I don't want to work?
I don't want to animate for television anyways. The 3D stuff on Nick is still pretty lame. Everything goes so fast, too. I want to be able to make really really awesome detailed animation, not eleven-minute segments of sub-par work. I acknowledge that television animation is still a vast achievement and requires skill, but it's not the kind of skill that I'm after.
...
Tomorrow..I am in an art show. The foundation sculpture show. I will go to see who beats me for the prize money.
Cool beans.
...
Oh man.
...
Time for sleeping. Good night.
Olivia
...
So, Nickelodeon Animations Studios visited the department today to give a presentation. Turns out they're all pre- and post-; the animation itself is outsourced to India and China and shit. So while I may apply for an internship in boarding or something next summer, guess where I don't want to work?
I don't want to animate for television anyways. The 3D stuff on Nick is still pretty lame. Everything goes so fast, too. I want to be able to make really really awesome detailed animation, not eleven-minute segments of sub-par work. I acknowledge that television animation is still a vast achievement and requires skill, but it's not the kind of skill that I'm after.
...
Tomorrow..I am in an art show. The foundation sculpture show. I will go to see who beats me for the prize money.
Cool beans.
...
Oh man.
...
Time for sleeping. Good night.
Olivia
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Bluh bluh bluh.
Just found these they are adorable lol.
...
I have to make a storyboard of a wordless story for tomorrow's narrative workshop class. I am going to do it tomorrow morning..because I'm stupid like that, but also because I always do my narrative homework the morning of. Last semester my animation homework was usually done Friday mornings before the two o'clock class. Eric was surprised when I told him. Which I guess is a good thing. (Sometimes I would start Thursday night, or even Wednesday. Whoaaaa now.)
At least I know what the story will be. Basically.
...
Honestly sometimes I really don't know why I write shit like last night. I really don't.
...
I love the Homestuck music like what.
...
I'm tired. Early bedtime. Good night.
Olivia
...
I have to make a storyboard of a wordless story for tomorrow's narrative workshop class. I am going to do it tomorrow morning..because I'm stupid like that, but also because I always do my narrative homework the morning of. Last semester my animation homework was usually done Friday mornings before the two o'clock class. Eric was surprised when I told him. Which I guess is a good thing. (Sometimes I would start Thursday night, or even Wednesday. Whoaaaa now.)
At least I know what the story will be. Basically.
...
Honestly sometimes I really don't know why I write shit like last night. I really don't.
...
I love the Homestuck music like what.
...
I'm tired. Early bedtime. Good night.
Olivia
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Spider-Man and also being mean to myself again.
Lesson to be learned from the three Spider-Man movies: Science ruins everything. That enhancement gas stuff Green Goblin dude used.. and the octo-arms for Doc Ock who apparently only wanted to do good things for mankind through the power of science.. and the particle experiment that created the Sandman.. science fucks everyone up.
Funny thing, about Mary Jane. All she seems capable of doing is screaming, being imperiled, and kissing guys.
(Yes, I did watch all three Spider-Man movies in the last two days. Yes, I know I'm an idiot.)
...
So I've been thinking about that little period of time some years ago when I was really seriously ridiculously depressed. I've always been kind of ashamed of it, because in retrospect I thought I'd behaved rather childishly. But a friend is having problems..and I wonder what I was doing back then.
Most of my life was filled with this suffocating loneliness..
Now I mostly feel silly about the whole thing.
And that's another thing. Why am I always ashamed of my past actions? This is something that plagues me always, and I wonder if others look back at their younger selves with regret. I have always, always, always been trying to grow up too fast. I want to be better than I am now. This is why I don't like myself. But why is that? The only part of myself I still love is the little girl third grade and below. I wonder what it is about myself that I have hated since then. And still it happens now. I am so much better than I ever have been, but I am still tearing myself down from the inside. What is it about me that repulses me?
I wish more than anything that I could learn to be satisfied as the person I am. I know I always say that the self-loathing is making me stronger by driving me to perfect myself, but..when I'm actually thinking, it's hard to be happy. I just wish I could be nice to myself. Is that really so hard?
I mean, no wonder I'm afraid of relationships. I guess down somewhere I don't want to give myself a reason to feel loved.
I'm such a coward.
Wow that discussion took a turn somewhere..
...
In other news, Project Birdlivia is going rather well. I'm drawing the tree right now. Then it should be done. Maybe I'll post it tomorrow.
...
Yeah okay bye. Gotta finish the homework.
Olivia
PS. Whoooooo Homestuck Soundtrack Volume Four whoooooooo.
Funny thing, about Mary Jane. All she seems capable of doing is screaming, being imperiled, and kissing guys.
(Yes, I did watch all three Spider-Man movies in the last two days. Yes, I know I'm an idiot.)
...
So I've been thinking about that little period of time some years ago when I was really seriously ridiculously depressed. I've always been kind of ashamed of it, because in retrospect I thought I'd behaved rather childishly. But a friend is having problems..and I wonder what I was doing back then.
Most of my life was filled with this suffocating loneliness..
Now I mostly feel silly about the whole thing.
And that's another thing. Why am I always ashamed of my past actions? This is something that plagues me always, and I wonder if others look back at their younger selves with regret. I have always, always, always been trying to grow up too fast. I want to be better than I am now. This is why I don't like myself. But why is that? The only part of myself I still love is the little girl third grade and below. I wonder what it is about myself that I have hated since then. And still it happens now. I am so much better than I ever have been, but I am still tearing myself down from the inside. What is it about me that repulses me?
I wish more than anything that I could learn to be satisfied as the person I am. I know I always say that the self-loathing is making me stronger by driving me to perfect myself, but..when I'm actually thinking, it's hard to be happy. I just wish I could be nice to myself. Is that really so hard?
I mean, no wonder I'm afraid of relationships. I guess down somewhere I don't want to give myself a reason to feel loved.
I'm such a coward.
Wow that discussion took a turn somewhere..
...
In other news, Project Birdlivia is going rather well. I'm drawing the tree right now. Then it should be done. Maybe I'll post it tomorrow.
...
Yeah okay bye. Gotta finish the homework.
Olivia
PS. Whoooooo Homestuck Soundtrack Volume Four whoooooooo.
Weird sleep patterns.
Yeah. I shouldn't do that. Sorry.
Olivia
PS. Hurr hurr.
But seriously. We watched the CS5 release party thing today in digital video..it looks awesommmme. <3
Olivia
PS. Hurr hurr.
But seriously. We watched the CS5 release party thing today in digital video..it looks awesommmme. <3
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Good day EXCEPT FOR ALLERGIES BECAUSE ALLERGIES ARE JERKS.
Just in case you were wondering, today was a very good day.
Watched The Incredibles in the morning, because I'm a geek and felt like watching a Pixar movie.
Wrote some more of that story that I'm trying to write.
Met up with two of my internet friends, and discovered that, thankfully, neither are creepy old men.
Went to MoCCA-thing.
Got Jeph to draw Marigold for me, after staring awkwardly at him for a while. (No seriously. It was kind of funny. We were sort of standing at a distance and he looked at us and I was like 'Oh don't mind us, we'll get up there eventually' and he was like 'Okay, I'll just stare at you', so after that it seemed kind of silly to stand there just looking at each other, so we stopped.)
Gave Andrew Hussie, creator of MSPA, a pony.
Bought this gorgeous book, and thankfully didn't spend any more money than that.
Had lunch.
Went to Central Park because I need reference of trees.
Hung around in Central Park talking for like five hours what the fuck.
It was fun.
Next weekend should be good too. CHRISTIIIIIIINE is going to be in the city on a school-or-whatever trip, so she and I and Dervla are having lunch together, because Dervla wants to know about art school stuff.
...
In Central Park we saw a bunch of people rollerskating and music-ing and having fun. One of the guys didn't have a shirt. We called him Dragon Abs (looooong story). We took a picture of him with Izzy (it was actually really funny how willing he was to get his picture taken with a random girl) and tried to pass him off as the real Akky on the forum. Needless to say, it didn't work, but it was fun.
Best part: After we got the picture, some obviously-tourists wanted a picture with him too. I guess they thought it was actually a thing..
...
I hate allergies. Allergies suck. Sneezing all the time sucks. My eyes are red. I look like I'm stoned. My nose is red also.
FUCK YOU SPRING. FUCK YOU NATURE. Of course I had to go to Central Park and sit there for five hours.
Seriously. These allergies will make me die. I've been blowing my nose all night and I think it's just making it worse. In the park I was just sneezing a lot. Now I can barely breathe through my nose..
AND NOW MY EARS ARE POPPING A LOT. It's weird how the ears are connected to the nose and throat and whatever. Like when you need to pop your ears so you try to make yourself yawn.
Can we go back to winter please? Winter likes me. Winter makes more sense to me. Winter lets me wear sweatshirts without getting hot and upset. Also, even though there are no flowers around, at least I don't have to sneeze.
...
I'm tired. I'm going to go whine quietly to myself and then go to bed. Good night.
Olivia
Watched The Incredibles in the morning, because I'm a geek and felt like watching a Pixar movie.
Wrote some more of that story that I'm trying to write.
Met up with two of my internet friends, and discovered that, thankfully, neither are creepy old men.
Went to MoCCA-thing.
Got Jeph to draw Marigold for me, after staring awkwardly at him for a while. (No seriously. It was kind of funny. We were sort of standing at a distance and he looked at us and I was like 'Oh don't mind us, we'll get up there eventually' and he was like 'Okay, I'll just stare at you', so after that it seemed kind of silly to stand there just looking at each other, so we stopped.)
Gave Andrew Hussie, creator of MSPA, a pony.
Bought this gorgeous book, and thankfully didn't spend any more money than that.
Had lunch.
Went to Central Park because I need reference of trees.
Hung around in Central Park talking for like five hours what the fuck.
It was fun.
Next weekend should be good too. CHRISTIIIIIIINE is going to be in the city on a school-or-whatever trip, so she and I and Dervla are having lunch together, because Dervla wants to know about art school stuff.
...
In Central Park we saw a bunch of people rollerskating and music-ing and having fun. One of the guys didn't have a shirt. We called him Dragon Abs (looooong story). We took a picture of him with Izzy (it was actually really funny how willing he was to get his picture taken with a random girl) and tried to pass him off as the real Akky on the forum. Needless to say, it didn't work, but it was fun.
Best part: After we got the picture, some obviously-tourists wanted a picture with him too. I guess they thought it was actually a thing..
...
I hate allergies. Allergies suck. Sneezing all the time sucks. My eyes are red. I look like I'm stoned. My nose is red also.
FUCK YOU SPRING. FUCK YOU NATURE. Of course I had to go to Central Park and sit there for five hours.
Seriously. These allergies will make me die. I've been blowing my nose all night and I think it's just making it worse. In the park I was just sneezing a lot. Now I can barely breathe through my nose..
AND NOW MY EARS ARE POPPING A LOT. It's weird how the ears are connected to the nose and throat and whatever. Like when you need to pop your ears so you try to make yourself yawn.
Can we go back to winter please? Winter likes me. Winter makes more sense to me. Winter lets me wear sweatshirts without getting hot and upset. Also, even though there are no flowers around, at least I don't have to sneeze.
...
I'm tired. I'm going to go whine quietly to myself and then go to bed. Good night.
Olivia
Friday, April 9, 2010
Lots of talk about movies. Also, ponies.
There are some silly practices that fiction insists on perpetuating. Such as spouting big words out of a professional's mouth, to highlight the brawn-and-wits nature of the clever-but-not-necessarily-educated protagonist. "Something something blah blah sciencey stuff." "What." "Oh. Right. Blah simplified terms for normal people blah blah." You'd think that geeks of any nature - and by geeks I simply mean people who know more about a particular thing than the general population - would be used to explaining, such that they would no longer pepper jargon into their conversations with the action-cop-hero.
I am watching I, Robot. The girl said 'postulate'. You don't use 'postulate' in normal conversation. You use 'postulate' in research papers and in the lab and in conversations with your fellow geeks. Bluh bluh.
...
I have been making clay ponies for a good part of this afternoon. Poniiiiiieeeees.
...
From outside my bedroom I hear 'He's drinking my ears!' or something like that. Maybe my hearing is off. But that's what it sounded like..
...
Song of the South is so dramatic. The beginning, anyways. Were all old movies over-acted, or just Disney live-action?
Hm. I believe those hummingbirds are the predecessors to the one in Pocahontas. Flit, right?
I always pictured Brer Rabbit as a witty nuisance, like Neil Gaiman's Anansi. (Don't think I'd ever heard of Anansi before American Gods and Anansi Boys.) Always laughing at his own jokes and screwing people over. This one's just friendly and goofy and kind of reminds me of Roger Rabbit. I suppose he was a parent for the concept.
Yes. They are very overdramatic.
...
I want to watch Fantasia. That and 2000 are gorgeous. I think I will do that.
I can't decide which I like better. I probably lean towards 2000 more, rather than the original. But I particularly love the Nutcracker sequence in the first (especially the mushrooms oh god the mushrooms I love those dancing mushrooms also they're Asian which makes me smile). I also adore the Pastoral Symphony segment, themed in Greek mythology. Then of course there's The Sorceror's Apprentice, but that one shows up in both. I think the difference is that in Fantasia 2000 I love all the pieces, while in Fantasia there are some that rather bore me, though all are beautiful.
Oh man, now I want to watch 2000 just for Rhapsody in Blue. That's probably my favorite of all the Fantasia pieces.
...
I watch too many movies. I mean, sure, I watch them in the background while I'm doing other, more productive things, but still. Today I watched the second half of Gangs of New York (long-ass movie; watched the first half last night), I, Robot, Unbreakable, Song of the South, and Fantasia. THAT IS FOUR AND A HALF MOVIES, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.
...
I can't embed this, but go watch it: Dali + Disney = Destino. Destino = WHAT.
...
So anyways. I'm tired. It's only midnight. Early bedtime for me.
Olivia
I am watching I, Robot. The girl said 'postulate'. You don't use 'postulate' in normal conversation. You use 'postulate' in research papers and in the lab and in conversations with your fellow geeks. Bluh bluh.
...
I have been making clay ponies for a good part of this afternoon. Poniiiiiieeeees.
...
From outside my bedroom I hear 'He's drinking my ears!' or something like that. Maybe my hearing is off. But that's what it sounded like..
...
Song of the South is so dramatic. The beginning, anyways. Were all old movies over-acted, or just Disney live-action?
Hm. I believe those hummingbirds are the predecessors to the one in Pocahontas. Flit, right?
I always pictured Brer Rabbit as a witty nuisance, like Neil Gaiman's Anansi. (Don't think I'd ever heard of Anansi before American Gods and Anansi Boys.) Always laughing at his own jokes and screwing people over. This one's just friendly and goofy and kind of reminds me of Roger Rabbit. I suppose he was a parent for the concept.
Yes. They are very overdramatic.
...
I want to watch Fantasia. That and 2000 are gorgeous. I think I will do that.
I can't decide which I like better. I probably lean towards 2000 more, rather than the original. But I particularly love the Nutcracker sequence in the first (especially the mushrooms oh god the mushrooms I love those dancing mushrooms also they're Asian which makes me smile). I also adore the Pastoral Symphony segment, themed in Greek mythology. Then of course there's The Sorceror's Apprentice, but that one shows up in both. I think the difference is that in Fantasia 2000 I love all the pieces, while in Fantasia there are some that rather bore me, though all are beautiful.
Oh man, now I want to watch 2000 just for Rhapsody in Blue. That's probably my favorite of all the Fantasia pieces.
...
I watch too many movies. I mean, sure, I watch them in the background while I'm doing other, more productive things, but still. Today I watched the second half of Gangs of New York (long-ass movie; watched the first half last night), I, Robot, Unbreakable, Song of the South, and Fantasia. THAT IS FOUR AND A HALF MOVIES, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.
...
I can't embed this, but go watch it: Dali + Disney = Destino. Destino = WHAT.
...
So anyways. I'm tired. It's only midnight. Early bedtime for me.
Olivia
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Uh way too much linkspam sorry. The internet is deadly.
UGH I hate love stories they make me bitter as fuck.
...
So, SOMEone installed Stumbleupon today, and insists on sending me links.
But they're really cool so that's okay.
For graphic design geeks.
If this is a poster, I want it.
I think this is fantastic.
Oh, Twilight.
Wool graffiti. xD
I want this on a shirt.
In the future, all instruction manuals will be sung. Then people will actually pay attention to them.
You've no idea how much I approve of this vandalism.
Pretty nifty.
WHOA I WANT THAT.
Heh, font humor.
I especially love the Titanic ice cubes.
Totally not a quitter. xD
BFA.
Can we all please start doing this?
Now I need to visit Russia.
I really hope this isn't a troll.
Lol Facebook.
I kind of want to do this.
I rather like advertising as well.
Hee hee.
Heard a lot of these.
Academy-Award-winning movie trailer!
Oh, artists.
Some of these seriously.
Airplanes.
Ooh this is so cool.
DNA kills.
Hahah seriously though that's about right.
Alright now this is fucking fantastic. Also it's real Chinese, I can read some of it.
Oh god okay no more linkspam jeez.
...
There is something very satisfying about kung fu movies. Or action movies in general, I guess. I'm watching Kung Fu Hustle. I've seen the first half before, but never finished.
Martial arts are just really cool to watch. There's something really elegant about combat.
...
Had to put this separate, because you can ignore all the linkspam if you want but this is just great. I want to be able to do something like this in the near future. Schoooooling.
...
I'm such a dork for marionettes. Seriously. I love the idea, I love the execution.
...
Anyways. Uh. I meant to write more but now it's very late and I am either going to sleep now or stay up until waking-up-time. So good night.
Olivia
...
So, SOMEone installed Stumbleupon today, and insists on sending me links.
But they're really cool so that's okay.
For graphic design geeks.
If this is a poster, I want it.
I think this is fantastic.
Oh, Twilight.
Wool graffiti. xD
I want this on a shirt.
In the future, all instruction manuals will be sung. Then people will actually pay attention to them.
You've no idea how much I approve of this vandalism.
Pretty nifty.
WHOA I WANT THAT.
Heh, font humor.
I especially love the Titanic ice cubes.
Totally not a quitter. xD
BFA.
Can we all please start doing this?
Now I need to visit Russia.
I really hope this isn't a troll.
Lol Facebook.
I kind of want to do this.
I rather like advertising as well.
Hee hee.
Heard a lot of these.
Academy-Award-winning movie trailer!
Oh, artists.
Some of these seriously.
Airplanes.
Ooh this is so cool.
DNA kills.
Hahah seriously though that's about right.
Alright now this is fucking fantastic. Also it's real Chinese, I can read some of it.
Oh god okay no more linkspam jeez.
...
There is something very satisfying about kung fu movies. Or action movies in general, I guess. I'm watching Kung Fu Hustle. I've seen the first half before, but never finished.
Martial arts are just really cool to watch. There's something really elegant about combat.
...
Had to put this separate, because you can ignore all the linkspam if you want but this is just great. I want to be able to do something like this in the near future. Schoooooling.
...
I'm such a dork for marionettes. Seriously. I love the idea, I love the execution.
...
Anyways. Uh. I meant to write more but now it's very late and I am either going to sleep now or stay up until waking-up-time. So good night.
Olivia
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Flashing more dorkness.
Just in case I'm not a big enough dork for you, here's another tidbit: I used to play Neopets. A lot. I was one of the players who didn't play games, didn't really raise any money at all; one of those who made fucking personalities and designs and roleplay characters and shit like that. Neopets was the reason I first started learning HTML. You can make miniature sites called petpages. I did that shit.
So there was this off-site forum I joined. Bunch of artists and writers and stuff who played Neopets. Even after I quit the actual game, I still hung around the forum, because by then I had a bunch of internet friends there. I still return occasionally to check on them. Actually, I think most of the people I like on that forum don't play anymore..I think we all just go back to harass each other.
Anyways. Point is. One of my friends from that forum is a freshman at NYU. We geek about MSPA together, and apparently Andrew Hussie, the creator, is going to be at MoCCA Fest thing this weekend. So even though we've been talking all year about hanging out for-reals, we're actually going to do something about it now. (where doing this man where MAKING THIS HAPEN)
I was planning on going anyways, because it sounds cool and because Adrian told me to, but now I get to see Akky too. Yay.
I AM SUCH A DORK.
BLUH.
...
NOSERIOUSLY DON'T LAUGH AT ME. D:
...
Sometimes I regret this blog just because I feel like such a big dork, or alternatively like such a lame sad emo girl.
But for some reason I still post to it. Real things, I mean. Not..not-real things. Wow I am making no sense. I mean, I still write this thing like it's my fucking diary. Cathartic, I guess? Probably. Also it's kind of cool to have all this shit out there for anyone to see if they actually care.
...
Alright. I'm tired. I should have done my narrative workshop homework tonight..but I can do it tomorrow morning. Oh look at that work ethic.
Olivia
So there was this off-site forum I joined. Bunch of artists and writers and stuff who played Neopets. Even after I quit the actual game, I still hung around the forum, because by then I had a bunch of internet friends there. I still return occasionally to check on them. Actually, I think most of the people I like on that forum don't play anymore..I think we all just go back to harass each other.
Anyways. Point is. One of my friends from that forum is a freshman at NYU. We geek about MSPA together, and apparently Andrew Hussie, the creator, is going to be at MoCCA Fest thing this weekend. So even though we've been talking all year about hanging out for-reals, we're actually going to do something about it now. (where doing this man where MAKING THIS HAPEN)
I was planning on going anyways, because it sounds cool and because Adrian told me to, but now I get to see Akky too. Yay.
I AM SUCH A DORK.
BLUH.
...
NOSERIOUSLY DON'T LAUGH AT ME. D:
...
Sometimes I regret this blog just because I feel like such a big dork, or alternatively like such a lame sad emo girl.
But for some reason I still post to it. Real things, I mean. Not..not-real things. Wow I am making no sense. I mean, I still write this thing like it's my fucking diary. Cathartic, I guess? Probably. Also it's kind of cool to have all this shit out there for anyone to see if they actually care.
...
Alright. I'm tired. I should have done my narrative workshop homework tonight..but I can do it tomorrow morning. Oh look at that work ethic.
Olivia
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Visit. Then stuff about California. Then stuff about rejection.
So uh. My mom's here. I knew she was coming into the city for business tomorrow, but I talked to her on the phone this afternoon and she asked if she could stay at my dorm. Her conference is at Baruch College, only a couple of blocks away from me, so it makes sense. She's sleeping right now, on my extra bed.
Still kind of weird. But whatever. I love my mom, and also she bought me dinner. Awesome.
Anyways. Drawing homework for tomorrow. Yeah. Talk to you later.
Olivia
PS. Okay. Dumb idea, because I should be drawing. But I've been thinking about summer jobs and internships tonight, because Reggie got neither TA nor RA position that he wanted at CTY for the summer. (Was that proper grammar? Sounded weird. Maybe it needed some the's.) More specifically, I've been thinking about going away versus staying home.
My goal is to reach California straight out of college. The idea kind of makes me nervous. Sarah-from-home can't wait to graduate and get out, but she has a difficult home situation, and it'll be good for her to get out of Andover. (She's going to the Academy of Art University in San Francisco next year, for computer animation. She's like me, and wants to be a character animator at a large studio, hopefully Pixar.) But I'm not running away from anything. I'm reaching towards something. In my plan, that requires leaving home on the east coast to make a new home on the west coast. That means that over the summer, I want to go over there as well. Obviously not this summer, because I can't get anything. But after this year, hopefully.
I feel kind of weird about it.
New York City is one thing. California is quite another. It's a fucking country away. My family's over here. My friends are over here. Now there's even a guy I like and with whom I have been deluding myself into thinking I might even have a chance. ("So what's your summer situation?" "Eh, there's barely even a possibility I'm actually going to be accepted by the studios over there this year, so I'll probably be looking for a design job in Boston or something. Live at home." "Good. We can hang out more." ARGH.)
I mean. I want to go. I really, really want to go. You don't even know how much I want to go. But even though I'm not running..I feel like I am. I won't be able to see my family as much. Or my home-friends. And gods forbid I actually start dating someone. (Yeah right.)
I want to be gone summers. And then I'll want to be gone the rest of my life, after I graduate. It's just..a weird feeling.
It's a year away, though. And then three years. We'll think about it later, shall we?
Back to drawing homework.
PPS. Speaking of relationship hopelessness, has anyone been reading Questionable Content recently (starting there up to now)? THAT IS WHAT I AM AFRAID OF except I would never do that because I can't get drunk because I refuse to get drunk also because I lack the balls.
It's depressing. I want Jeph to end this storyline soon. Because it depresses me. I mean I know he can't end it now but I want him to anyways.
Still kind of weird. But whatever. I love my mom, and also she bought me dinner. Awesome.
Anyways. Drawing homework for tomorrow. Yeah. Talk to you later.
Olivia
PS. Okay. Dumb idea, because I should be drawing. But I've been thinking about summer jobs and internships tonight, because Reggie got neither TA nor RA position that he wanted at CTY for the summer. (Was that proper grammar? Sounded weird. Maybe it needed some the's.) More specifically, I've been thinking about going away versus staying home.
My goal is to reach California straight out of college. The idea kind of makes me nervous. Sarah-from-home can't wait to graduate and get out, but she has a difficult home situation, and it'll be good for her to get out of Andover. (She's going to the Academy of Art University in San Francisco next year, for computer animation. She's like me, and wants to be a character animator at a large studio, hopefully Pixar.) But I'm not running away from anything. I'm reaching towards something. In my plan, that requires leaving home on the east coast to make a new home on the west coast. That means that over the summer, I want to go over there as well. Obviously not this summer, because I can't get anything. But after this year, hopefully.
I feel kind of weird about it.
New York City is one thing. California is quite another. It's a fucking country away. My family's over here. My friends are over here. Now there's even a guy I like and with whom I have been deluding myself into thinking I might even have a chance. ("So what's your summer situation?" "Eh, there's barely even a possibility I'm actually going to be accepted by the studios over there this year, so I'll probably be looking for a design job in Boston or something. Live at home." "Good. We can hang out more." ARGH.)
I mean. I want to go. I really, really want to go. You don't even know how much I want to go. But even though I'm not running..I feel like I am. I won't be able to see my family as much. Or my home-friends. And gods forbid I actually start dating someone. (Yeah right.)
I want to be gone summers. And then I'll want to be gone the rest of my life, after I graduate. It's just..a weird feeling.
It's a year away, though. And then three years. We'll think about it later, shall we?
Back to drawing homework.
PPS. Speaking of relationship hopelessness, has anyone been reading Questionable Content recently (starting there up to now)? THAT IS WHAT I AM AFRAID OF except I would never do that because I can't get drunk because I refuse to get drunk also because I lack the balls.
It's depressing. I want Jeph to end this storyline soon. Because it depresses me. I mean I know he can't end it now but I want him to anyways.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sony and love and sound effects.
So I just watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Also a Sony Imageworks film. They are goofballs over at Sony. But it was a cute movie. Kind of weird. But cute. I giggled every time Flint's dad raised his eyebrows.
Sony. I'm not sure what to make of Sony. Still in the process of identifying them. I've begun to develop a style template in my head. I think they may be sillier than DreamWorks. Completely immature and a little bit dirty.
...
So my last status message on Gchat was "When you are in love, does the world become more beautiful by association or more ugly in comparison?" It came from a conversation with Will and Nina and Bryony on our way back to NRes from the Shake Shack. (Funny story. I was walking back from the lab and saw them standing in line, so I joined them. Apparently they were hanging around the park watching the line, and then decided to go stand in the line. Nina bought me a burger. Nina is a hero.) Anyways. So I was on the phone with my dad tonight and he asked about that status message. Lol oops. My dad thought it meant I was in love or something.
Cough.
...
I've decided that I like 'yom' better than 'yum'. No particular reason. It just makes a better sound. Also it makes a better shape when you say it. Also it's like putting 'yum' and 'nom' together.
...
Blergh. I can't think of anything else to say. I'm sleepy. I've been getting so tired recently. It 's really bad. I still go to bed really late most days, but I'm having a really hard time waking up, most mornings. Rrgh. Good night.
Olivia
Sony. I'm not sure what to make of Sony. Still in the process of identifying them. I've begun to develop a style template in my head. I think they may be sillier than DreamWorks. Completely immature and a little bit dirty.
...
So my last status message on Gchat was "When you are in love, does the world become more beautiful by association or more ugly in comparison?" It came from a conversation with Will and Nina and Bryony on our way back to NRes from the Shake Shack. (Funny story. I was walking back from the lab and saw them standing in line, so I joined them. Apparently they were hanging around the park watching the line, and then decided to go stand in the line. Nina bought me a burger. Nina is a hero.) Anyways. So I was on the phone with my dad tonight and he asked about that status message. Lol oops. My dad thought it meant I was in love or something.
Cough.
...
I've decided that I like 'yom' better than 'yum'. No particular reason. It just makes a better sound. Also it makes a better shape when you say it. Also it's like putting 'yum' and 'nom' together.
...
Blergh. I can't think of anything else to say. I'm sleepy. I've been getting so tired recently. It 's really bad. I still go to bed really late most days, but I'm having a really hard time waking up, most mornings. Rrgh. Good night.
Olivia
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Random finding and BLARGH.
So I was glancing through the bookmarks I have in Firefox - some of them really old - and I came across this. I don't remember bookmarking it, or ever having read it. But I know why I would.
Weakness is one flaw that will not win you any admirers. It is also the one thing that will deter potential companions. Strength of character and well-grounded principles are what make the alpha male as well. A real man knows when to be tame, and when to be ruthless. He knows that life is a game after all, a series of events that can never be undone, and he knows how to play the cards in his hand. Once a card is laid face-up on the table of life, you can no longer bring it back to your hand. Yeah. But not everyone is a talented player. Like in a real game of cards, there have been times that players have been dealt an ugly hand. Yes, they can still make the best of it. But, no, they will never surpass one who has been dealt a winner's hand. There are no losers, but there will always be those who are better. Everyone can be a winner, but not everyone can have the grand prize. Of course, a weak hand still has it's merits. But if the player is stupid- then, of course, the chances of winning a game are zero. So, he loses, he becomes a loser. And, it will take a long time before he can get back into the game, this time with a different hand. But his hand will still not be that of a real winner. Eventually, he loses a lot in life, so, he learns to settle for less- or for nothing at all. Eventually, he gets fed up and gives up altogether. Crying will do you no good, but you can't help it anyway. You will always be envious, and jealous. Yet it hurts more when you can envy but not hate. Yes, envy can exist without hate. Especially if that someone you envy is someone dear to you. Life has dealt you a winning hand in some aspects, but this time you have to lose. There are times, you have to give up the fight. Times like this, well.
...
Hm. Interesting thing: The digital film library has most-if-not-all Pixar movies (I haven't counted), but the only DreamWorks movie I could find is Madagascar II.
...
ARGH ART HISTORY WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO FUCKING PROCRASTINATE. More tomorrow. Today I have to finish this.
Olivia
Weakness is one flaw that will not win you any admirers. It is also the one thing that will deter potential companions. Strength of character and well-grounded principles are what make the alpha male as well. A real man knows when to be tame, and when to be ruthless. He knows that life is a game after all, a series of events that can never be undone, and he knows how to play the cards in his hand. Once a card is laid face-up on the table of life, you can no longer bring it back to your hand. Yeah. But not everyone is a talented player. Like in a real game of cards, there have been times that players have been dealt an ugly hand. Yes, they can still make the best of it. But, no, they will never surpass one who has been dealt a winner's hand. There are no losers, but there will always be those who are better. Everyone can be a winner, but not everyone can have the grand prize. Of course, a weak hand still has it's merits. But if the player is stupid- then, of course, the chances of winning a game are zero. So, he loses, he becomes a loser. And, it will take a long time before he can get back into the game, this time with a different hand. But his hand will still not be that of a real winner. Eventually, he loses a lot in life, so, he learns to settle for less- or for nothing at all. Eventually, he gets fed up and gives up altogether. Crying will do you no good, but you can't help it anyway. You will always be envious, and jealous. Yet it hurts more when you can envy but not hate. Yes, envy can exist without hate. Especially if that someone you envy is someone dear to you. Life has dealt you a winning hand in some aspects, but this time you have to lose. There are times, you have to give up the fight. Times like this, well.
...
Hm. Interesting thing: The digital film library has most-if-not-all Pixar movies (I haven't counted), but the only DreamWorks movie I could find is Madagascar II.
...
ARGH ART HISTORY WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO FUCKING PROCRASTINATE. More tomorrow. Today I have to finish this.
Olivia
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Uh yeah just random shit today.
Arghblargh. I have so much work to do this weekend it's not even funny.
...
We had a birthday picnic for Eric in Central Park today. My supply of tiny clementines was depleted, but I acquired the leftover peanutbutterandjelly sandwich, which makes for happy Olivia. Also Danny is coming back into the city tomorrow, which hopefully means I'll get my money. If I don't I may beat him up.
Or just sulk.
...
New favorite website. 'Fuck you' became 'I go to the wind'.
'Holy fuck.' -> 'Dogs.'
...
Heh. Dinosaur Comics being Problem Sleuth = yes.
Speaking of MSPA, I'm finally caught up! Whoooo. Uh. Catch-up-with-Sluggy time? Will take considerably longer, and I have too much work to be done.. maybe later.
...
Holy shit. I am geeking out on this end of the internet.
...
Hrmph. Seems I forgot to post this before going to bed. Oops. Sorry.
Olivia
...
We had a birthday picnic for Eric in Central Park today. My supply of tiny clementines was depleted, but I acquired the leftover peanutbutterandjelly sandwich, which makes for happy Olivia. Also Danny is coming back into the city tomorrow, which hopefully means I'll get my money. If I don't I may beat him up.
Or just sulk.
...
New favorite website. 'Fuck you' became 'I go to the wind'.
'Holy fuck.' -> 'Dogs.'
...
Heh. Dinosaur Comics being Problem Sleuth = yes.
Speaking of MSPA, I'm finally caught up! Whoooo. Uh. Catch-up-with-Sluggy time? Will take considerably longer, and I have too much work to be done.. maybe later.
...
Holy shit. I am geeking out on this end of the internet.
...
Hrmph. Seems I forgot to post this before going to bed. Oops. Sorry.
Olivia
Friday, April 2, 2010
Money issues, Surf's Up.
Oh hey guys guess what. I have a whopping five dollars to my name right now. My mom will be in the city on business next weekend, and she owes me some cash anyways, so..until then I will eat crackers and peanut butter for every meal. Yum. Also I have weird-Asian-snacks-that-I-don't-know-what-to-call-in-English, so there's that. Also I have some clementines. Also I have some ramen. Also I have some flour. Also I have some soy sauce. SO HEALTHY.
I hope Danny pays me back. He's at home this weekend, and I told him to borrow money from his parents so he can pay me back the seventy dollars he owes me from last semester.
Finance is fun.
...
Watching Surf's Up, finally. I rather like how they made it like a documentary.
That chicken is staring at those penguin girls' asses. Lol. Also, penguin girl lifeguard just said crap. Sony is definitely not trying to be extremely family-friendly, I guess; this is more forthright than DreamWorks.
Cody just called Tank 'pecker-face'. Tank didn't get it. Oh, Sony.
Healer-penguin just peed on Cody's foot to cure the poison from the sea-urchin he stepped on. This movie is so deep and mature and thoughtful. (I think his name is..Geek?)
Zooey Deschanel voices Lani. She's so adorable. And now she's a penguin.
Dude. So I'm like twenty minutes into the movie, but I think I already know the big reveal. I bet Geek is really Big Z.
HAHAH. I was right. I win. Next movie-prophecy: The chicken wins the contest.
Tank is naming his trophies and there is porn music in the background.
Okay. I get that there has to be a Reggie character. It's for the story. But why is he a hedgehog? I don't get itttt.
I win. The chicken won the contest.
Alright. So I liked the movie. I like most movies on some level. But I haven't quite determined which level yet. I may have to watch it again. Or just sit around and wait until I've processed.
...
Hm. Interesting. It seems Brooke and Sarah are getting a bit fed up with Jen. She went home for Easter, I think, and they're kind of complaining about her to their friends.
It's probably going to level out, though. Fickle people.
...
Hum. I'm tired. Ten thirty, now. Weird.
Olivia
PS. AHHHHHH.
I hope Danny pays me back. He's at home this weekend, and I told him to borrow money from his parents so he can pay me back the seventy dollars he owes me from last semester.
Finance is fun.
...
Watching Surf's Up, finally. I rather like how they made it like a documentary.
That chicken is staring at those penguin girls' asses. Lol. Also, penguin girl lifeguard just said crap. Sony is definitely not trying to be extremely family-friendly, I guess; this is more forthright than DreamWorks.
Cody just called Tank 'pecker-face'. Tank didn't get it. Oh, Sony.
Healer-penguin just peed on Cody's foot to cure the poison from the sea-urchin he stepped on. This movie is so deep and mature and thoughtful. (I think his name is..Geek?)
Zooey Deschanel voices Lani. She's so adorable. And now she's a penguin.
Dude. So I'm like twenty minutes into the movie, but I think I already know the big reveal. I bet Geek is really Big Z.
HAHAH. I was right. I win. Next movie-prophecy: The chicken wins the contest.
Tank is naming his trophies and there is porn music in the background.
Okay. I get that there has to be a Reggie character. It's for the story. But why is he a hedgehog? I don't get itttt.
I win. The chicken won the contest.
Alright. So I liked the movie. I like most movies on some level. But I haven't quite determined which level yet. I may have to watch it again. Or just sit around and wait until I've processed.
...
Hm. Interesting. It seems Brooke and Sarah are getting a bit fed up with Jen. She went home for Easter, I think, and they're kind of complaining about her to their friends.
It's probably going to level out, though. Fickle people.
...
Hum. I'm tired. Ten thirty, now. Weird.
Olivia
PS. AHHHHHH.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I've probably quoted TS2 before on this blog, but I like it a lot. Also, DreamWorks visit.
So. Watchin' Toy Story 2, procrastinating on the next Disney movie. I love the face Buzz makes when he's talking about 'delicious hot schmoes'. ("They're called s'mores, Buzz.")
"Cowboy Crunchies: The only cereal that's sugar-coated and dipped in chocolate."
"*squeak*" "What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?"
"Maybe if we find some balloons, we can float to the top!" I think the legendary Pixar-movie-planning-meeting occurred after Toy Story 2, but this is kind of funny. It's like unintentional foreshadowing for Up. (Unless the meeting was actually before TS2, or while it was in production.)
"Will somebody please explain what's going on?" "It's alright, Space Ranger. It's a code five-forty-six." "You mean, it's a..?" "Yes." "And he's a..?" "Oh yeah." "*gasp* Your Majesty!"
...
The head of outreach at DreamWorks came to talk today about their programs. She showed work from people who'd been hired right out of school into each different department. Now I kind of have a better look at the kind of things big studios are looking for..it was interesting. I feel like I can reach what they're looking for in animation by the time I graduate. In fact, I intend to reach it sooner. Over the summer I'll be animating my ass off whether I get into a program or not (and it's very likely that I won't get into any).
She also showed a storyboard from Shrek 4, and then the rendered final version of the sequence. Uh. It was funny, as is the DreamWorks way, but I was having an issue with the mouth movements. Maybe it's just me; maybe I need to see it again. Rumplestiltskin looks like a total creeper. Well, I guess he ought to; he's the villain. I mean, I know I'll be watching it anyways. But I still am opposed to the idea of a fourth Shrek. I have to say, though, they're getting immensely detailed with their characters and sets. It's intense, and impressive. A huge leap from the last Shrek. Also, either it's darker, or her computer screen was darker. Dunno. Probably the latter.
Ideally I will be working for Pixar or DreamWorks. Because really, they're the huge contenders in the field, and I want to work for people who are well-established. Now all I have to do is get there..
...
Okay. I'm going to sleep now bye.
Olivia
"Cowboy Crunchies: The only cereal that's sugar-coated and dipped in chocolate."
"*squeak*" "What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?"
"Maybe if we find some balloons, we can float to the top!" I think the legendary Pixar-movie-planning-meeting occurred after Toy Story 2, but this is kind of funny. It's like unintentional foreshadowing for Up. (Unless the meeting was actually before TS2, or while it was in production.)
"Will somebody please explain what's going on?" "It's alright, Space Ranger. It's a code five-forty-six." "You mean, it's a..?" "Yes." "And he's a..?" "Oh yeah." "*gasp* Your Majesty!"
...
The head of outreach at DreamWorks came to talk today about their programs. She showed work from people who'd been hired right out of school into each different department. Now I kind of have a better look at the kind of things big studios are looking for..it was interesting. I feel like I can reach what they're looking for in animation by the time I graduate. In fact, I intend to reach it sooner. Over the summer I'll be animating my ass off whether I get into a program or not (and it's very likely that I won't get into any).
She also showed a storyboard from Shrek 4, and then the rendered final version of the sequence. Uh. It was funny, as is the DreamWorks way, but I was having an issue with the mouth movements. Maybe it's just me; maybe I need to see it again. Rumplestiltskin looks like a total creeper. Well, I guess he ought to; he's the villain. I mean, I know I'll be watching it anyways. But I still am opposed to the idea of a fourth Shrek. I have to say, though, they're getting immensely detailed with their characters and sets. It's intense, and impressive. A huge leap from the last Shrek. Also, either it's darker, or her computer screen was darker. Dunno. Probably the latter.
Ideally I will be working for Pixar or DreamWorks. Because really, they're the huge contenders in the field, and I want to work for people who are well-established. Now all I have to do is get there..
...
Okay. I'm going to sleep now bye.
Olivia
DONE. YES.
So, Tom and I spent about eight hours in the lab today on post-production for the stop-motion film. And it's finally done! Whoo! And..it will take a very long time to upload to Youtube. (It's five freaking minutes long. Agh.)
Here we go. Took an hour and a half to upload. Lol..
...
XKCD celebrates April Fools' the geek way. Try typing 'goto [just pick a number]'. Or even 'go to [that number I told you to pick]'.
...
I'm going to sleep. Probably before this video finishes uploading. I'll put it up tomorrow. Good night.
Olivia
Here we go. Took an hour and a half to upload. Lol..
...
XKCD celebrates April Fools' the geek way. Try typing 'goto [just pick a number]'. Or even 'go to [that number I told you to pick]'.
...
I'm going to sleep. Probably before this video finishes uploading. I'll put it up tomorrow. Good night.
Olivia
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