On appearances and first impressions.

A few things that piss me off:

- When people say "[insert certain kind of non-average person here] are beautiful".
- When they say looks don't matter.
- "Beauty comes from within."

This is almost always lies.

I mean really. Of all the bullshit that sensitive people will swallow, this is the most fantastic. Frankly, I am just kind of tired of it.

Appearances are first impressions. Sure, maybe eventually you can 'see past all that', but when you meet someone, unless you're blind or you found them on some photo-less chat forum, what you see is really goddamned important. However fake someone's smile may be, however long they take getting presentable in the mornings, however much fucking makeup they wear, it doesn't matter; if they look more engaging, they automatically are more engaging.

And people are attracted to certain types of people. Certain shapes.

I don't think soft and blobby is a very popular type, to be honest.

Just in case you were wondering, I'm not above all this. I do have a type of person I'm attracted to: Good-looking geek. Preferably taller than me. Can't be very thin; normal (uh, width?) is good. Nice smile. Nice laugh. Basically, someone I can hug. Hugs are good. Hugs are something I need more of in my life. (I am kind of hug-deprived. That's why I always cling to my cat.)

It's not just romantic or sexual attraction, though. Most pretty people have pretty friends. The world flocks to the pretty people. If you're not pretty, you'd better have a damned good reason for being paid any attention. Ever notice that the big, beautiful, well-dressed stars are always the ones sitting in front at awards ceremonies? The majority of the population will not recognize the faces of people like John Lasseter and Pete Docter, both who attended the Globes and the Oscars this year for the really fucking good movie Up. (Second animated feature to ever be nominated for Best Picture, after Beauty and the Beast, but obviously not important enough to merit seats near the cameras. They can have those seats at the Annies, because only industry geeks are paying attention anyways.) Unattractive people either cannot be stars, can only be stars for their unattractiveness, or are made attractive as soon as they start inching their way towards stardom. (When I am a fucken director at fucken Pixar I will still be seated in the back. My speeches will be cut short. People will forget my name and my face.)

And I judge people by the way they look. Oh, totally. It's easy to walk down the streets - especially in Manhattan, where there's all sorts of different people swarming, mingling, mixing on the sidewalks - and identify personalities based on size, shape, facial expression, clothing. I even did a project on it, in drawing last semester. To most people who see me through passing glance alone, I probably come off as bored or dumb or lazy or tired or soulless or goal-less or dull. This is because most of the time I can be seen plodding down the sidewalk, cumbersome bag slung over my shoulder, headphones on, hands in sweatshirt pockets, expressionless. Oh yeah, and I'm soft and blobby. We cannot forget that even if I looked completely confident and held my head high and looked the world in the eyes and..dressed nicely, there would still be people who would scorn me, whether to my face or behind their hands, purely because I am a fatass and they do not like fatasses.

Really, I think most of the world is good-looking. I'd say at least seventy percent. Or maybe sixty. Not movie-star-good-looking, mind you, but that's probably a good thing; movie stars are kind of untouchable. But there are so many people I know, classmates and roommates and teachers and random people I pass on the sidewalk, who just look kind of great, even with their double chins and birthmarks and fat arms and buck teeth. Unfortunately, it is these qualities that are noticed first.

To have a perfect first impression, you must look perfect.

No matter how beautiful your soul is.

Olivia

PS. The reason why I started thinking about this:



I rather like Mika. I think his music is catchy. I recently rediscovered him; turns out he sang at least five songs that I liked a few years ago, but never attached to an artist. Just randomly heard them at different times in different places, and they stuck in my head. But when I heard this song on a Pandora station a week ago, I kind of got upset. Because of course some big chicks are gorgeous. But - and this applies for any kind of person, whether he or she be blonde or big or black or whatever the fuck you want to categorize - not all of them are. This is almost as bad as the notion that all skinny girls are beautiful, because we all know that's not true. Maybe this is even worse, because though it may raise some people up, it may send others deeper down into their holes. People who cannot accept, under any present circumstances, that they may be beautiful.

False confidence, crippling modesty, or harsh honesty? I still pose this question. I still don't know the answer.