Blah blah I am just kind of a screwy person.

I am either emotionally underdeveloped, extremely self-absorbed, or very socially awkward (but I suppose we already knew that bit). When an emotional response is expected of me, I freeze up. I do not know what to do. Unless I'm in explosive-mode - in which my emotions just kind of go crazy depending on the situation, in which I either can't stop crying or am barely holding back punches, in which my skull feels like it will cave in under the pressure - I just can't react. I don't know what to say to you if you just broke up with your significant other or your friend just died from cancer or you just lost the second kitten in a row to a mysterious disease. (These have all happened recently to my friends and I have not been able to do anything.) I feel kind of useless. I feel like a shitty friend. All I can say is Sorry that sucks and hope it makes up for my lack of..advice..moral support..I don't even know. What am I supposed to say?

This goes for physical closeness as well. If you are not one of a very small group of people in my life, if you hug me I will probably kind of tense up and move my arms awkwardly around you. And anyone at all putting their arm around my shoulder or on my seat back just makes me ridiculously uncomfortable, to a point where I either ask them to remove it or just do it myself.

I am have such a problem. Seriously, what is this. It is kind of stupid. I feel like I just don't have anything to offer so why do people care about me..

Sorry if I suck.

But otherwise, today was a good day.

Olivia