Things about social things.

A friend visited New York this weekend; Hearty, from Ohio, and from the internet. It's weird how all of a sudden, the people with whom I spend the most time are people I met online, and through a friggin children's site no less. They're the easiest people to be around, probably because I've already known them for several years? How pathetic am I, that the majority of my social interaction either occurs online or among friends I met online? Answer: EXTREMELY PATHETIC.

Nonetheless, it was a good weekend. It was a pretty awesome weekend. Still kind of amusing that we call each other by handles instead of real names - except for me I guess, because being known as any name other than Olivia would probably just confuse and irritate me.

Hm I was going to say other things but I don't quite remember what they were. Basically what this boils down to is LOL I AM A FREAK WHO CAN BASICALLY ONLY SOCIALIZE ON THE INTERNET YAY?

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Lately I've been really emotionally up and down. It's pretty weird. Pretty annoying, too. Like I can be perfectly happy all day and then come back to my room and beat myself up until I want to cry my friggin eyes out, and the whole time there is a detached part of my brain telling me not to be so happy, and then saying that I'm being really unreasonable when I'm not. It's all absurd and I want to stop and I can't. How difficult it is to be blank.

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When I really like someone I am a huge jerk to them. This is a problem. I've always sabotaged myself in life but really, this is fucken horrible. Why am I mean to my friends WHYYYYYYYY AM I MEAN TO MY FRIENDS I mean it's a sarcastic joking bitchiness but it is still kind of a bitchiness.

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I am amused.

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Too much work. Gotta do work. Goodnight.

Olivia