Oh hey, today I actually have something for you to read, should you desire.
Friends are cool. It's nice having friends. I am seeing friends tonight and I am seeing other friends tomorrow.
While I am not the most social of people, it makes me happy to feel like I belong.
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I wonder what kind of person my brother will grow up to be. (I still think of him as my baby brother, even though he's fourteen and a freshman now. Scary shit.) When he's a senior in high school I hope he's respectful and responsible and hardworking and good. I don't want him to get tripped up by teenagers' politics, like I was. I don't want him to lapse into apathy. I want him to be happy.
He's so smart. He has so much potential. I don't want him to get lazy like me, because I was lucky and found a future in the stuff that I love, and my bad grades didn't affect it so much. He's so fucking smart and he has great stuff ahead of him as long as he works for it. I want so badly for him to do well in life. I was lucky.
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Hey EAA, Flannel-Boy, if you're reading this, this is for you. You may be one of the most intriguing things I've encountered over the internet. Or, to be more clear, it is the fact that I have been able to maintain some sort of connection with you over months after meeting briefly and parting and still keeping in contact, that amazes me. It's funny that most of our interactions have been through Twitter - who says it's a useless site? Sometimes you seem like a better friend than most of those I see every day. Is one's online facade a concentration of one's self, or is outside life a dilution?
I do look forward to meeting you for a second time.
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One recent hobby of mine - one that was conceived a year ago and dropped and then brought back - is the designing of a tattoo. I am too shy and too afraid of pain to get one, and probably not the right personality type to want a tattoo anyways, but still I know where I want it and what it will be and how large I will have it. I doodle it when I am not busy and when nobody's looking. It is only a small dream of a small drawing, but sometimes the thought of it comforts me. I imagine being the kind of person who would not regret a semblance of permanence in life.
His name is Daedalus, and his wings will be beautiful.
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One in the morning and back from the movies; went out to dinner with Danielles and then to Sherlock Holmes. We were at the theater an hour before the ten twenty show, and the three of us scampered around yelling and goofing and taking pictures of our shadows. It was the most fun I've had with other people in a while. The movie wasn't bad, either.
Stealing Sarah from her home tomorrow.
To bed (or perhaps not quite yet) for me, for now. I believe I have some things from the past few days to talk about. It will probably happen next post.
Oh hey fun times are tiring,
Olivia
Monday, December 28, 2009
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Aw shucks, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteI'll attempt an answer to your question. In everyday life, we're forced to modify certain aspects of our outward personality to meet the present situation. We never treat our parents the same as our acquaintances, our acquaintances the same as our close friends, or our close friends the same as strangers. There's a kind of purity in self-expression over the Internet because you're talking to no one and everyone at the same time; you only have to change your words for your privacy, while anonimity takes away the issue of keeping appearances. Of course, you can also go the opposite extreme and create a completely fabricated persona, but whatevs.
I do my best to keep the same sense of honesty going in my physical interactions as well, though. Self-identity is important to me, and with that comes consistence; there's no reason I shouldn't be able to treat my closest friends and family with the same honesty I do the anonymous faces of the Internet (unless they would be hurt by it, of course). I think you'll find that the only major difference will be my eloquence (or lack therof when I open my stupid mouth).
And hey, e-mail me your IM contacts. Just because we get by perfectly well on Twitter doesn't mean we have to limit web-based communication to 140 characters.