Some politics of girldom, some group bonding activities of men. Also some cookies.

Oh hey.

My three suitemates just spent the last ten minutes complaining about their bodies. Now they're looking at themselves in each mirror in the apartment. I feel like I'm in Meangirls.

They're all beautiful. This kind of social behavior irks me. Sometimes I just want to shake them and yell at them for being dissatisfied with their looks. I don't have anything going for me and these conversations make me feel awkward - I avoid them for a reason - because if I start listing the reasons why my body is not good enough by society's standards..I will end up with quite a list.

Sometimes girls just suck.

I am not pretty, we will say. Just tonight, even, some jackasses smoking outside a club made obviously false advances towards me as I walked by. And a year ago a couple of teenaged douchebags drove past me while I was walking to the library and yelled 'hey skinny!' out the window. Things like this make me extremely angry with the world, not because it's happening to me, but because people think it's okay to act like this towards others. I am almost glad it was directed at me in these instances, and not some other girl, because I can take this crap without feeling personal insult* - I know with this attitude bad things will happen to them later in life. It's not karma. It's just a lack of maturity and social awareness that will ultimately screw them over.

Sometimes people just suck.

...

Other than that, though, today was a pretty good day. I had some forced relaxation time; the computer labs were all full or reserved for seniors, so I worked on my sculpture homework for tomorrow and came back to my room and baked cookies. Baking is therapeutic for me - I like making cookies and things from recipes that seem interesting, and then eating like one, and leaving the rest for others. The success of the act of baking is more important to me than the eating of the products.

...

He calls me 'dear' more often recently. It is a jokingly condescending thing we do to each other but it sounds sweet from him. It just sounds like a good word, when he says it.

Old people call me 'dear', occasionally. Nobody else.

I really like him..

...

It is one thirty. I will probably go to sleep early. At two. Hurr.

Wow, one almost stress-less evening. I'm impressed,
Olivia

(* I am usually thick-skinned enough to handle these occurances, and always so as they are happening. But later, when I'm alone and nobody can see me, I get upset. Angry with them for being tools and disappointed in myself for ignoring them instead of flipping them off. Retaliation would probably give them a sense of achievement, though, so I keep emotions to myself.)