People and patterns and D-Day..I mean V-Day.

You know you're weird when you spend your weekends (yes, Thursday night is the weekend for me - I love having Fridays off) hiding in your room while your roommates have loud friends over, not wanting to emerge and make dinner because the majority of them are vegetarians and you're craving meat.

Such a fucken recluse.

...

I'm a bit fucked up.

I like patterns.

We have colored lights hanging in our common area. Yellow, green, blue, red, pink; repeating. Sometimes it pisses me off, because the first sequence on the strand is actually pink, green, blue, red, pink. It seems careless to me. I was staring at them absentmindedly while waiting for my dinner to finish cooking, and I saw a yellow, green, red, pink sequence, and I started angrily questioning myself, thinking I'd gotten it wrong..and then I noticed that the blue had gone out.

Freak.

...

I think one of the reasons I like him so much is because he makes me feel wanted. I never feel wanted, even when I may actually be.

I HONESTLY DON'T GET IT. Why the fuck would anyone want to talk to me? Every fucking night, no less. I can't be that interesting.

...

It's funny, usually I forget that other people read this until they mention it in conversation. Most of the time I feel like I'm talking at myself. I suppose that's the weird thing about the internet; most of the time it's kind of speaking into a void. Or I guess to the stove, a la The Goose Girl.

...

Reasons why it can be nice to live with normal girls:

- You can make cupcakes together in the middle of the night.
- You can sit on the sides and giggle while they get drunk and sing at the top of the lungs.
- Then one of them passes out on the beanbag and the other's boyfriend comes over and they retreat to her bedroom and have awkward conversations which you can hear through the walls, involving touching and..other stuff; and you remember that you're alone and go hide in bed again.

...

Drabble. Drabble drabble.

I like the word. I also like the concept.

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FUCK Valentine's Day is in a week but just shut the fuck up. It's an annoying holiday-type-thing so shut up with all the pink and red and hearts and things.

And you know I'd have a different opinion on it if I had some reason to.

(I don't.)

(By reason I mean boyfriend.)

(I don't.)

(I never will.)

(It's around this time of year that I generally just get upset with myself all over the place.)

(I hate couples.)

...

And on that note, good night.

Olivia

PS. Except Christine and Robby. They are my favorite couple ever. And NGAFP, obviously. And..my parents. That's a pretty good one too.

PPS. And you know I'm totally a hopeless romantic and heart, but I've been repressing it my entire life, because nothing happens to me, as a rule.